theSILENCE

SALAM LEBARAN

2009-09-20T01:34:00.001+08:00

Kami dari zhoff.blogspot.com ingin mengucapkan,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN!!!

Enjoy your raya, darlings. ;)

TAKE WHAT YOU WANT, THROW WHAT YOU DON'T NEED

2009-09-17T01:38:00.003+08:00

okay, feeling emo-ish now. It's blog-time! hahahaha..

Not many people know that I have this blue 'diary' which I not so actively wrote in like some 5 years ago. I was writing in that for a few months, the first one was written on Hari Raya 2004 itself, the very morning. Morning as in early early morning, like 3 or 4. It's kinda funny actually the reason why I did a diary at that time. It was because I wanna do a blog, but I thought no one would bother to read, so I just wrote for myself. After some entries I gave up writing, manually, and started a blog. Yeah, this one. My blog's turning 5 soon.

A few days ago I read through my blue diary. What can I say. I was so different back then. hahaha. In a good way, so that means it's bad. That means, I used to be good. That means, I've not become a better person. Everyone always wants to be better, no one wants to be worse, as a person, of course.

Lately I've been so vulnerable. For the past 2 months, I would consider myself being mentally unstable, hahaha. You might wanna think of it as an excuse but.. Even me myself thinks that's an excuse sometimes for doing some stupid things. Like entertaining temptations, waste alot of time and money, talk less, think more than I always do, work less, feeling unmotivated, feeling I have the right to do anything I want because of the state I'm in, not sleeping, hard to sleep, sleep more in the day, go for runs, eat less, eat more, eat a whole day's meal during dinner, smoke more, eat less, feeling regretful, feeling regretful and doing the right thing, feeling regretful and wanting to do something bad, wanting to do something bad and doing it, wanting to do something bad and not doing it, making plans, making plans and canceling them, catching up with old friends, being random and noticed, feeling selfish, being selfish and not giving a damn about what people think or say or feel, getting lost in thoughts every now and then, watch more TV, watch sad dramas and cry on the couch when no one's looking, neglecting responsibilities, treasure people more, appreciate family and friends more, and the list can go on and on and on....

Haiiss......

This is what happened. I turned right, and kept turning right, and kept turning right and at one point I got so tired I took a rest. When I woke up, I totally forgot that I still have to keep on turning right. I'm TIRED!

I don't know lah people... I am weak! I am sad deep down inside, like what were you all thinking? I once did a Facebook quiz and they said I'm a love saviour; I save people from bad relationships but it's even harder for me to get into a good one. Hah! Not that I totally believe in all those Facebook quizzes, but some just, makes sense!

So now, this stupid useless love saviour is tendering his resignation and will publicly announce that he needs help!

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME...

Yours truly,
zhoff

WONDERS

2009-07-27T22:29:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I just wonder what did I do wrong.. Be it towards you, or just anything to anyone, or myself. But then I figured it out, maybe I deserve all this. No, not from you, but I deserve this, for what I've done, for where I've been.

This year I brought myself so damn far away. Honestly, it's the furthest I've gone. Who came to save me? Friends? Family? A stranger?

None.

HE, called me. But what did I do the first time? I remembered, but just for a while, and went back going further. I cried like a baby reflecting all the things I did, I knew I was given a chance. I wasn't strong enough then. It lasted too short. I chose to ignore again.

Some time later, something else happened. Yup, He called me again. How was my response? I cried again, but I wasn't that strong enough, and I chose to ignore, once again.
It was even shorter. I was too happy with something else.

I continued going away from it again. Then, that "something happy" was taken away from me.

It was time to make a choice again.

..............................................

What love can do to one, when there's just no love for Him. We might just ruin our own lives. I'm grateful that I can still think. I'm grateful that I'm given this chance. I know, this is just what I'm feeling now, and things MIGHT just be so different as time goes by. Yes, that's the hard part my friends. I myself don't know what's gonna happen to me in 2-3 months time. Nobody knows. I just need to remind myself every now and then. Sometimes I really really feel I can't do this alone. It's just so hard, with the kind of people I know, the kind of people that have the biggest influence to what I'll do. Well, not everyone is like that. I guess, it's all about making your own choices. It's all about..... controlling yourself!!!

Sometimes I just don't know what to do. Really... I'm refering to this thing here, yes, this thing that bothers me every once in a while, this thing that I've always tried not to think about, this thing that's always at the back of my head. I'm not depressed over this, no way. I'm just toooo lazy to go through it. Prevention is always better than cure. So better prevent it from coming than to waste time curing it. Don't waste your time! I'm really okay, living life like how people live their lives. Like I told you before, sometimes, SOMETIMES, sometimes........

Sometimes I really miss you. You don't know how happy I am whenever you call. I guesssss......... I'll..... ok? Can? Hahahahaha...
SOMETIMES I MISS THIS!

I'll be okay. Seriously! In fact I AM okay. Though I really hope you are too...

OKAY! TILL THEN, ZHOFF IS REALLY OK LAH MR BLOG. DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT HIM. HE IS STRONGERRR, THAN YESTERDAY! STRONGER LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS!!!

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

HI, HOW ARE YOU?

2009-07-26T16:05:00.002+08:00

I'm really okay and coping well, just that sometimes i really miss you...

I just need to do the right things now, and come clean when the time comes, and hopefully get out of it much much cleaner. Ya, I wanna be a cleaner now, hahaha.

Come guys, and girls, join me and let's save ourselves. COME LAH!!! OI!! COME AND JOIN ME!!!

I hope you'll be nice again, not just to me, but to everyone.

WHY FACEBOOK IS BETTER

2009-05-31T22:41:00.001+08:00

Zhoff completed the quiz "Who will you Marry??" with the result Best Friend.
You will end up with your best friend. You guys have always been good together, you just never realized it. It may not be your best friend now but it will be one of your best friends that you will have. Don't worry there is definitely someone out there for you..

2 MONTHS LATER

2009-05-19T19:40:00.003+08:00

WHY ARE BLOGS SO SAD???!?

shut up la, i miss myself blogging! i don't need you to say anything.

WHAT'S REALLY HAPPENING

2009-03-09T19:52:00.003+08:00

I have to admit I really hate doing emo2 posts, it's just like people coming over to your place and you welcome them with a sad, depressed look, and bringing them nothing but bad news. But on the other hand, I also hate hiding behind this mask. Showing your smile to everyone but actually deep inside you're bleeding and whatsoever. So guys, just bear with me for now.

Now how do I start this.

Ok, I took my normal walk home from work just now. But I guess its not normal after all. For some strange reasons at one point I was listening to Mariah Carey's "Hero" and "Without You" on repeat, and that was when, the mood changed. One of the songs mentioned above reminded me of an incident, and it always will. Was it a bad or good one, I can't really decide. Or maybe, to be more honest, the 'devil' inside me would consider the latter. So now I guess you roughly know what kind of incident it is. Don't worry, it's safe to make assumptions for now, cause its not gonna last.

And so I was so called reminiscing that incident, and I began to question myself. Just what are WE becoming? Yes, we! Not just myself, but some of the people around me.

I am fully aware of this nonsense that it is somehow of bad human nature that people sometimes can't accept someone, because he/she is just too good as in decent-nonsense for him/her. He would say, "she's not my type, she's just too decent..." and she would say "he's not my type, he's too decent for me.." What can we conclude here? That these people, including me, are actually looking for the bad boy/girl factors but why? Because they are worried they might not have that wild fun together, or they might just end up doing less things together, or he/she finds the other half less experienced, or... Or it is all the work of the devil. Haha. And of course, most of us are weak human beings, so easily we are doing what they are whispering in our ears without realizing it in time. Before we knew it, we are living this life trying to achieve the exact opposite of the only reason why the bloody hell we are alive!

Before I go any further, I would like to make this one thing really clear, I'm NOT saying all this because I have FINALLY CHANGED, or, because I'm trying to brainwash anyone here to realize their mistake. The sole reason is, I'm just saying what I feel like saying right now.

Like I told you time and time again, I'm not a good person myself. So who the hell am I to change anyone of you, when I can't even change myself. And unlike most of you, I really hate being a hypocrite, being a wolf in a sheep's clothing and whatsoever fuck, hiding behind lies, conspiracies, disguises and etc etc.

Lately, I am so damn tempted by temptations. Hahaha, I don't know, it's like hmm, it's like I've said this before in my previous post. Actually yes, but who cares. It's not like I've done the biggest sin in this world, or maybe did I? Hah.. Well, I should say, next time be more careful of what you say to people. What goes around really comes around. Sometimes when you say never, you'd get tested real hard baby! haha. That's based on my experiences in the University of Life.

Talk about experience. What exactly is, experience. To me, it's not how long you were doing it, it is in fact, how many times you fell down. Yes, please count how many times you've fallen down in your entire life, for me, I've fell down for 749549394830362465 times. Haha, ok crap but seriously, to experience, is to experience failures. That is when you learn, and that is when you mature. Experiences mature oneself, but only when you learn from it. And always, trust the words of the experienced, but of course when he/she is not lying. How to know that? Go find out yourselves. you know, sometimes when people share their experience on something, telling you how bad it is, and sometimes we will tend to disagree though we've never gone through it before. We would tell him things like, if I were you, I would have enjoyed myself and all that crap.. But, but but but, all the times, when we ourselves go through the shit, we end up telling ourselves, "he/she is right after all. this is just bad!"

After watching the whole season of Liar Game (again I'm recommending you people to watch) I've come to realize, how beautiful this world would be should 'lies' never exist.

Hmmm, and how peaceful my life would be, if I've had no regrets, that's impossible of course. Because when we made up our mind we are gonna do something, there's just no way we could know whether we'll end up really satisfied, or filled with regrets.

For the thing that I regret the most, is that I said to some people, that I'm done with enjoying life.

AS GOOD AS BAD

2009-03-05T22:35:00.002+08:00

Hehehehe, lolx!

I think life has taken a turn. I'm not becoming the person I thought I was going to be. Haha. And I'm starting to get all these strange and wild thoughts lately. My mind is so full of.... I don't know what.

I've thought about it, and I figured, I'm just.... losing my mind. I'm losing control. Temptations are more tempting now. Do I need help? I don't know, I just can't make up my mind. Do I even wanna be helped?

That kinda feeling, is just what I needed after all these years, maybe. I'm sorry if anyone or even myself get disappointed. Just picture it, it's the sweetest dream now, but I know for sure, it will be a nightmare as time goes by.

Nothing in this world can stop people from judging people, so we just have to live with it, and no one in this world, can get away from being judged. So, like I said some time ago, you be the judge, but then, just shut your mouth. the world already had, too much lies.

People, go and watch this Japanese drama, Liar Game. I guarantee you its fucking worth your time.

I WANNA SING BETTER!

2009-02-06T23:52:00.003+08:00

Guys, this is what I want in 2 weeks time. It's a microphone from SHURE. It's a freaking high quality mic. Even a frog would sound good using this mic to sing. hahaha. Of coz, it costs a bomb, not really a bomb la, maybe a small cheaper bomb.

ALHAMDULILLAH

QUESTION YOUR LIFE

2009-01-28T01:37:00.002+08:00

Ask yourselves this question, "How happy am I with my life?"

The past will always be the past, regrets will be regrets. There is no such thing as life without regrets. Everyone makes mistakes. Coz, all of us are humans.

But what if, you know it's wrong but you're still doing it, you still wanna do it? What if, you know the risk is there, but you are not doing anything to avoid it? When it's right in front of your eyes, there's just no turning back. The only thing we can do is, accept it, admit our mistakes, and live our lives.

Hmmmmm, maybe I'm making some of you curious here. Like what the hell am I talking about, well... That's the whole point, haha. I'm ok lah, I'm absolutely fine and normal. just something bothering me. I'm ok, trust me. Just doing some reflection on my life...

............................

Someone gave me this advice, "Zhof, when you look for love, most of the time, it will break your heart in the end. So, don't go looking for it. Let love, find you..."

Hmmm, yeaaah.. Maybe I should heed that huh. Like I said, "when the time comes, the times will come.." But of course, I can't help but wonder when. I won't deny it. I need some love, baby. hahaha. I can wait, for sure I can. It's just, sometimes man, SOMETIMES!!!

It's kinda not the time to update about my long long weekend now. But I must say, there's only one word to describe it all; meaningful. Yeah, it's been one meaningful long weekend/holiday for me. From last Thursday, all the way to this very minute, it's been meaningful. I should update again when I have the time, or should I say when I have the mood. I got alot of time actually. Mood tu yang kekurangan, nak tido ni..

Oklah, we'll talk again...
Till then, be grateful with what we have, and treasure them while they are still here.

ALHAMDULILLAH!

WISHLIST

2009-01-18T20:04:00.000+08:00

IF ONLY I HAVE MONEY $$$$$$

BYE, I'M LATE..

ALHAMDULILLAH :)

BE GREAT-FOOL

2009-01-16T23:58:00.002+08:00

Hmmmm....

Sometimes we have to be really careful of what we say. Coz life is so full of surprises, changes and always expect the unexpected. Today I might tell you one thing, but maybe tomorrow, I might just go against my words, without even realizing it. That's... human? I guess so.

Honestly, sometimes I tell people I don't have time for it. But the true fact is, deep deep down inside of me, I want it badly.

And sometimes, people just want it soo badly, coz they thought that is their key to pure happiness. But when we got what we wanted, will we be happy enough? Will you be smiling at that time?

Somehow I'm scared. Somehow I'm anxious. Somehow I'm curious. Somehow, I'm impatient. So, how? How now brown cow? haha.

Ok, let's get this straight, I'm not in an emo state or what right now. I'm absolutely fine, trust me. It's just that....

It's just that I feel like. . . . .

I feel like I wanna talk to someone about it... But somehowww.... I just don't feel like it. Hmmm...

Well, let's just.............. be more honest with ourselves. That's what I wanna say to everyone of you here. It's an advice. Take it. TAKE LAHH!!!

only time will tell, and like I said, when the time comes. . . fill in the blanks yourself!

Till then...

ALHAMDULILLAH.

DEFINE IT

2009-01-10T18:56:00.004+08:00

Hmm, my eyes are kinda moist now. Why?

Hahaha, I just finished watching Ayat Ayat Cinta that is why. Oh man, if I had watched it last year, it would have taken the award for Best Movie of the Year in Zhoff Awards 2008. But nvm, we'll see how other movies perform this year huh.

Seriously, it's one romantic yet meaningful movie. And I don't know how many times I teared watching it, I only can remember it was just damn hard trying not to let it out because my other family members were around. They weren't watching with me but they were around during those emotional touching scenes of the film.

The best quote from the movie, to me, would be when the girl somehow knew she was leaving, and she said, "forgive me, for now I've realized what it is to love, and to possess..." Something like that la. Of course, I started questioning myself and all sorts of questions arise. Just.... What is the definition of, love?

I did a look up on dictionary.com, and there's 21 definitions to it.

1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3.
sexual passion or desire.
4.
a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5.
(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
6.
a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7.
sexual intercourse; copulation.
8.
(initial capital letter) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid.
9.
affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor.
10.
strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books.
11.
the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love.
12.
the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God.
13.
Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing.
14.
a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L.–verb (used with object)
15.
to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her.
16.
to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person).
17.
to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music.
18.
to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight.
19.
to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover.
20.
to have sexual intercourse with.–verb (used without object)
21.
to have love or affection for another person; be in love.

My conclusion? Simple...
Love is how you want to define it. There's no exact definition or standards we have to follow. Different people have different perceptions of things, different ways of expressing feelings, different ways of showing love. When someone says he loves this girl, how does he actually know, that what he feels, is LOVE? Could it be just a passionate affection? Or just a sexual desire? Or a strong liking? Or is it because he needs her? Or is he actually confused? haha.

Well, we don't really know what he feels, you have to ask him yourself if you wanna know. To me, everyone has their own right of defining love. But of course, it's only IF they can really think. Get what I mean? No? Ok, here's what I mean. I said everyone has their own rights, but that doesnt mean an 8 year old child can come up with his own perception of love. That is because a child doesn't have the experience, wisdom and maturity to think like most of us. Do you get it now? Ok good.

Again, what is love? If you ask me that question. Hmmmmmm....
Hmm hmm hmmmm......
Susah benar untuk dijawab soalan ini. Maybe I'll...... just leave you all in the dark? hahahaha.

Tapi kan, jika difikirkan lagi.... Hidup ni eh.... memang bukan senang.. tapi bukanlah susah sangat. and maybe... if we just keep our mouths shut, dreams won't come true. Yeah, that's it.

ALHAMDULILLAH ;)

THE BIGGEST CONSPIRACY EVER

2009-01-01T18:37:00.002+08:00

Whenever you are eating at some fine diners, you would notice there are few do's and don'ts you have to follow. These are called etiquettes, dining etiquettes, restaurant etiquettes, food, tipping etc.. I don't know really know much about them cause I just don't give a damn about it. Did it ever crossed your so-called thinking mind why in the world they exists? Who the hell set those rules? Do you feel controlled, even the littlest bit? Think.

After the good food, you and me engaged in deep meaningful conversations. Then we headed home, thinking this is one of the best days (best nights might sound like something else, lol!) we ever had together, as friends. Then you felt different. You start to talk differently and give me all the hints anyone could give, and I kinda see right through you. I know, you've fallen for me. And you know that I know about it. But you are just waiting for something from me. Waiting, and waiting, and forever waiting for this gentleman to make the move. Why? Because guys should make the first move. Yeah, that's what you think. No, that's what like everybody thinks. If you're a guy, you should do it. and never, her. Well, says who? You are thinking hard trying to find an answer, and the best you can come up with is, it's normal, cause all this while people around you, be it in the real world or in movies or in the sweetest of novels, have been doing it. You learn from them, you got influenced, it becomes your perception, and simply follow. Just like the others, a mainstream thinking follower of unknown leaders. You think it's a tradition you, or maybe we, have to follow and maintain. What I think? Ego. That's the word. You can argue all you want, at the end of the day, if the ego is still there, you will never wana lose. So, there's no need for yet another war to break out here, so I let you win.

For this case, it's not that bad. Let me give you an example. One day someone by the name of Bitch (not her real name), tried to express her feelings to a group of people. She said, "guys treat girls like trees. they take a pee, and leave." You bet I was so pissed off upon hearing that. What sexist remarks. I've had enough of them. Guys and girls are the same, there are good ones, and there are more bad ones.

There are just some things we do in our lives, because of influence. It might be oblivious to us, especially to the ones who never bothered sparing some time to even question them. Taking things for granted, following the crowd, no direction at all. I won't say I'm not a victim of influence. After all, everybody is. I've been influenced by rock bands in my younger days, that's why I learned the guitar. That's why I write songs. That's why I take up singing. That's also why I dressed like how I used to. That's why I go to concerts. And the list goes on.

I think that's all I have to say for now, I'm extremely iritated by my keyboard. My 'r' button cant work, I'm depending on the on-screen keyboard temporarily. If I ever get into this mood again, I'll write a Part 2 (I always promise a Part 2 but it always never happen) hahaha, I'll try my best la.

So, how was your new year people? Good? I hope its good. The new year is always good, always better, only if you look on the positive side of things. Take this chance for a change. We make the changes, changes we make!

I hope to make a CHANGE this year, that's one of my new year's resolution.

ALHAMDULILLAH!

GOODBYE 2008

2008-12-28T21:06:00.002+08:00

Someone told that this new year comes with a surprise. I wonder what.

Dpt kinder surprise agaknyer..
tapi tu halal ke tak?? kalau tak, aku nak capkan haram! hahahaha...

I need a new keyboard.

MARRY XMAS!

2008-12-26T22:39:00.002+08:00

:)

After work me and my 2 colleagues went to Downtown East for dinner. Planned to eat satay but couldn't find the shop, haha. Sooo.... We tried Fig & Olive. It was my first time, and I always wanted to try. Finally man..

The food was good la, but the service sucks. No wonder we were the only customers around. Yes, seriously.

I feel happy and very lucky that I have them as my colleagues. We can click well and we all share the same thoughts and visions. Syukur Alhamdulillah! I really hope all of it will become reality one fine day, insya Allah.

We've been spending quite alot on food recently. Trying this and trying that. Taking turns to pay the bills, haha. Last week we had dinner at Simpang Bedok. 42 bucks for 3 people is kinda... you know. Tak bole dibiasekan, nanti bankrupt jugak aku. Our next dinner will be on new year's eve. I wonder where.... Hmmmm....

New year's eve eh, da dpt gaji eh! wooohooo! hahahaha... I don't feel like spending money la, but as long as I keep some savings should be ok. I've been working for 3 months now but I don't buy stuffs, even though I might need them, like new clothes, shoes, or even a new handphone! hahaha. I think, just gimme another month or two, then we go shopping together nak? Nak aje eh kau.. but you pay for me also la.. Can? Alrite, set!

2 more months eh, just nice! My birthday! hahahaha, ape lagi?? ape lagi ditunggu! Blanje ah!
Blanjelah kamu, sebelum kamu dibelanjekan...

Makanlah kamu sebelum kamu dimakankan.

Mandilah kamu sebelum kamu dimandikan..?!? Seramnyer..

Oklah, that's all for today. Just the sudden urge to blog something.
Bye bye~!

This week started badly, but it gets better now. I hope its getting better still.

THREE PIECES

2008-12-22T20:02:00.000+08:00

Today is a very bad day.

aku kesian tgk diri aku sendiri ni...

INTO THE DANGER

2008-12-17T20:28:00.001+08:00

Danger is near, I can feel it.

It's not coming near me, but in fact I'm kinda slowly walking towards it.
Shit!

HELP ME!

anyone...?

TSUNAMI BOMB

2008-12-16T21:49:00.004+08:00

I was in the office, browsing through web templates from the net, while chit-chatting with my colleague, while chatting with some people online, while taking eye rests for 10mins after every 20 mins of work, haha... And then...

Ring ring.. (the office phone)

Asalamualaikum zhofry...

Waalaikumsalam...

@#$%^&*(*^%f^tg**&^%$ %$4%*)(*7 $#!#$%#2 gedebakgedebukCRASH BLA bla bla black sheep have you any wool dot dot dot... *@(*@#)!

(MORE BLAHS THEN END OF CALL)

Then...

The Tsunami waves crashed.

The story is long but I don't know how to write it. Here is the short and not so sweet version of it.

AKU TGH STRESS PASAL KEJE!!!

BACK BY UNPOPULAR DEMAND

2008-12-03T21:22:00.002+08:00

Ok, due to popular demand, here is your update.

Haha, popular demand konon, padehal baru 2 org je eh.

That's the update, bye! hahahaha.

Ok2, here is the real one.

I'm sorry dear blog for not updating you due to my quite busy schedule ever since I started working. I'm always like that la, when I'm busy with something I don't really have time for you. But I haven't retire yet ok, so don't be sad. I'm not planning an early retirement. hahaha. For my 2 dear friends who are reading this blog, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for bringing some 'life' to this pathetic blog of mine. Now it seems like only 2 people are reading this, and use my tagboard. hahahahaha, aku bukan meminta simpati atau belas kasihan eh, sori siket. sori banyak pon bole ah. but anywayz, thanks alot guys, or should I say, girls? ntah eh, korg pompuan ke? haha.. another funny thing is that, its because of the existence of this zhoff.blogspot that I get to know them. hmmm... did it ever cross your mind?

So, I started working like 50 days ago. how's work? that is a bonus question actually, and if you want the answer, you have to give me bonus first ah! haha. ok seriously, work is..... (let's try to avoid using 'ok' here) so far so good la... anywayz, side track siket eh, saying 'ok' is kind of a boring answer actually. like someone asks you,
How's school?
Hmm, ok lah...

How's work?
Ok lah..

How's life?
Ok lah..

How's everything?
Hmmm... Ok i guess

How about I give you one tight slap?
OK go!

hahaha, see what I mean? so people eh, do try to avoid giving the very predictable boring answer when answering these questions. But I know, I would still use it anyway. haha.
Now back to the bonus question.
Work is ok lah, oh shit! what did I just say? i'll answer again.
Work is good so far. I've learnt alot this past 1 and a half months, and I'm looking forward to learning alot more. Sometimes ade stress la, but most of the time it's not that bad. actually eh, aku mcm malas gitu nak cerita panjang2, lagi2 pasal keje. let's talk about other stuffs eh. if you really wanna know how I'm doing with my current job, ask me personally. ok thanks.

actually the main reason why I blogged today is just to tell you this. my new year's resolution for 2009 is, to make my first $10K by 1st Jan 2010. I call it Project 2010-K. gedit? style eh. how do I save 10k in just 1 year when I'm not even earning enough? Impossible? nah, impossible is nothing! ceh, mcm betol je ni budak. We'll see how la, maybe I go rob a bank or what, or strike 4D or what eh. hahahaha. but then, if it becomes reality, 10k by 2010, rase2 kalau 10 Oct 2010 aku kahwin pon cantik eh, 10.10.10! hahaha. kahwin sorg la kau!

$10,000.
Money makes the world go round, and makes people go crazy.

MY SEVEN LIVES TAKEN YESTERDAY

2008-10-25T23:22:00.002+08:00

A7X concert - I DIED! 7 times! Hahaha. At some point I just felt like I was gonna blackout, I almost got my elbow dislocated, sweat like a pig, suffocated by the other sweating bodies and 'aroma'. Before Shadows and co. got on stage, I see quite a number from the crowd actually dozing off, and so did myself. We waited like an hour for them to get on stage.

Everyone got crazy enough when it all started, we all were like high on drugs, like some times I don't know what the F* I was doing. I had fun, but it could be more fun if they played MIA, Chapter 4, I Won't See You Tonight and I guess everyone's quite disappointed with the absence of the much anticipated 'Dear God'. I was more than disappointed actually. The concert was shorter than I expected, and it took a damn long time to start. Yeah, not like MCR's concert last Dec on that very same stage.

MCR were pretty punctual I would say, there were no unnecessary opening acts, in less than half an hour after the actual start time, they already got on stage to get us higher than ever. MCR wins.

Security-wise, they (the security personnel and management) were not that stupid enough to let people in one by damn one, which will take ages to get the last man in. MCR wins.

For the crowd, A7X's was kinda more violent I would say, yes A7X crowd was worst than MCR's, in terms of their moshing, pushing, headbanging, or head 'hitting', body surfing and etc.. Even though there were lot more people in MCR's, I should say, A7X crowd wins MCR.

About the lights and sounds, hmmm. In both, vocals weren't that clear actually, or is it maybe because everyone was singing along? I don't know. And in both concerts, they sounded exactly the same like the original. So, I think it's a draw here.

For showmanship, lets compare Gerrard Way and M. Shadows. Gerrard did talk to the crowd, and he talked more vulgarities rather than anything sensible. He also did compliment our Sg crowd, like Shadows did. But in this one, I prefer Shadows' way with the crowd, what more, at the end of the concert, they threw priceless souvenirs, from drumsticks, to guitar picks, to even crumpled pieces of paper. How nice of them huh. Too bad it didn't get to me, haha. A7X wins.

For performance and choice of songs, its quite an obvious win for MCR to take. The only song I really enjoyed from last night's concert was "Seize the Day". But for MCR, they did play their hit wonders like, I'm Not Okay I Promise, Helena, I Don't Love You, Teenagers, Famous Last Words, Welcome To The Black Parade, Cancer and not forgetting my personal favourites like The Sharpest Lives, This Is How I Disappear, and alot lot more. Their concert was longer than A7X's. Even after the MCR concert, I felt really satisfied and it was really worth my 98 bucks that time. MCR wins baby.

Overall, A7X rocks but I have to say, MCR's concert was way better. It's still the best one I've ever been to and looking forward for the next one (if there is).

A7X could have brought it home if only they have played Chapter 4, or MIA or Dear God, either one would do, but too bad neither was on the list. :( So, sorry guys.

About the pics, I have alot more but I don't feel like uploading all at this moment, maybe some other time when I feel like it. Haha.

So, what's the next concert for me? Pussycat Dolls? Blink 182? Britney Spears? Hahahaha.

WHEN?

2008-10-20T02:11:00.001+08:00

hidop mcm gini, sampai biler eh??

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI 2008

2008-10-06T20:19:00.021+08:00

hello and Selamat Hari Raya to all. I don't feel like blogging but I feel like putting up some pictures. Here are pics of my totally new old room. haha, its old but it has a new look. i regret not taking pics of my room before the whole 'makeover' thing. cannot show you the before and after, but i can show you something like that la.

This is how much i spent. $$$$$$$

Sofa Bed - $425
Painting stuffs - $120
Carpets - $110

Curtain - $100
Photo Frames - $25
Karaoke Amplifier and Speakers - $530

Others - $15

Total: $1305!!!

Wait, there's one more...

Doing all the work alone by myself in 1 week - PRICELESS!

There's some things money can't buy, for everything else, there's MasterCard! haha, I hope to get mine soon...
I sacrificed getting a new handphone for a new room. I think it's more worth it. At least I can still call or SMS what....

ok, enough talking, come and see for yourself. the unveiling of zhoffStudios kepale-otak-aku ah!!! haha. lets go...

FROM THIS

TO THIS...

NOT FORGETTING MY CURRENT AND EX GIRLFRIENDS.

THE LOVELY TWOSOME

LAST BUT NOT LEAST... THE 'SEXY' COLLECTION

UMMM, LAST BUT NOT LEAST AGAIN... I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS!!!

BYE... SELAMAT HARI RAYA AGAIN.

HOW YOU REMIND ME

2008-09-26T06:59:00.001+08:00

Just wanna share with you people what some songs remind me of. Just for the fun of sharing.

Songs from the Album 'In Love and Death' by The Used
- reminds me of those SIP days back in poly. I think that was the time the album was released. Been listening to them almost everyday and everytime I was doing my work or 'work' in the lab.

Denial by Sugababes
- I first heard this song when I was switching TV channels in the hotel when I was in Taiwan. However it doesn't remind me of Taiwan, it reminds me of someone I just got to know earlier this year. Something really interesting about her made me wanna get to know her. But, too bad for me, she was already seeing someone, her current bf that is. Such a loser, hahaha. I still don't know what's the link between this song and her though.

Welcome To The Black Parade by MCR
- Reminds me of the last few weeks of my BMT (1st 3 months of my NS), especially the times when I get to go home, cause it felt so 'heaven-like' to be at home at that time. Of course, I was in love with this song then, that's why.

Paperthin Hymn by Anberlin
- I first heard this song in Taiwan, and yes, it reminds me of Taiwan. It reminds me of when I was there and how much I miss my friends back in Singapore!

Seize The Day by Avenged Sevenfold
- reminds me of the first few days of BMT. hahaha, left home for Tekong, and confined there for two weeks. The only good thing I brought with me was my MP3, and I was always listening to this song whenever I had the time.

Pudar by Rossa and Teman Tapi Mesra by Ratu
- haha, these 2 songs just have to go together, they are like sister songs, the 1 song reminds me of the other 1, maybe because I was in love with these 2 at the same time. well the 2 songs remind me of my pre-NS job, when I was doing some boring-data-entry job and the only thing I can do to make it more interesting was listening to my MP3 of course.

Songs from Boxcar Racer
- hmmm, sweet sweet love like never before. remember when the World Cup was held in South Korea and Japan...

Cenderawasih by 2D
- somehow it reminds me of wearing safety pins on my ear.

Aku Hanya Teman Biasa by Jeffry Din
- hahaha, this is funny shit I tell you. After some 'graduation party' we had at Al-Sheikh in 2006, my friend blasted this song from my another friend's car. We were at the car park and there were other people around too. He started dancing to this song and ALL of us joined in. We danced as if we were really wasted on alcohol or drugs. 1 of my friend even video-ed it on his hp. It never fail to make me laugh watching it or even listening to this song.

7 Minutes In Heaven by The FallOut Boy
- this reminds me of my first ever lousy MP3 I bought. haha.

Falling Faster by The Silence
- reminds me of someone who called himself DJ zhoff. kekeke. the days when I was making good money being a DJ, like real.

Hate Me by Blue October
- reminds me of this 1 incident where I got lost driving in some part of CCK, all alone, and I really need to be back home fast. that was when I heard this song on the radio. I went back and downloaded it. hah!

The World Is Black by Good Charlotte
- somehow reminds me of my most boring ever Terengganu trip. Every morning I was woken up by this song through my hp alarm. and that was when I actually thought this song is just sooo damn iritating.

The First Day Of My Life - The Rasmus
- those last few days before going for NS. I wasnt working and had to stay at home almost everyday because the kitchen and toilets were under renovation. oh yes, it also reminds me of my house in its most messiest state ever.

Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani
- when I was taking driving lessons, back in 2005, during the fasting month. It was tiring, when I got home, I was so tired, I turned on the TV and I saw this music video, and I thought it was kinda cute. haha.

Make Damn Sure by Taking Back Sunday
- a heartbreaking and disappointing World Cup 2006. hmmm, those were the days.

sometimes I avoid listening to some songs because I don't wanna be reminded of what that song will remind me about. sometimes it's just so heartbreaking, so sad, so dark, so full of regrets. sometimes it's sweet, but not just sweet, maybe something like bittersweet. haha, I think you cannot understand what I'm trying to say because I'm writing ah 8trufnr3f3k4tr. I was lost for words and too lazy to think. sorry.

hey,
zhoff-studios opens 29th September! it's happening!
I'm gonna take some pics when it's all done, coz I wanna show it to the whole world! muahahahahaha~!

till then, we'll sing again?

DATE ME TO THE DEAD

2008-09-21T05:46:00.003+08:00

The worthless can only ask itself
In every little time that it had
After every moment of goodbye
They smiled while it still cried

Hah, if anyone can really know what all that means, you're the smartest human being in this world, that I know la.

Hmmm, I smell something. Smells like fish... It's because... something is fishy here. Haha, I'll just pretend I know nothing.

My new baju kurung looks like pink!!! Like wth. haha, it's supposed to be orange, a very light shade of orange, but if you look at it in someway or somehow eh, mcm pink sakz!!! Aiyah, every year I have to buy one that is nice not only to me, but also to my mom. And every year I have to wear something cause she liked it, and I always say to her, it's me who'll be wearing it, if you like it so much, you wear it lor! Aku ni da brape tahun ah?!? Hmmm, what can I say, women! They are like that. Hahaha.

M.I.A?

2008-09-17T20:11:00.001+08:00

AVENGED SEVENFOLD IS COMING TO SINGAPORE!!!
I AM COMING TO THE AVENGED SEVENFOLD CONCERT!!!
COME ON!!!

NOW, YOU BE THE JUDGE.

2008-09-16T21:53:00.011+08:00

This might sound really emo or too personal but this is gonna be the most honest entry I've ever post in my whole blog-life.

I was born into this world as a Muslim. Ever since, I've always believe in Islam, I strongly believed and still believe in God, his Prophets, the Qur'an, and everything about Islam. Even as a child up till now, I've never questioned about the existence of The Almighty. I was brought up by my parents whom I think have done their job in making me believe in all these. So even though I know very well I will never see for myself the physical existence of Allah, I am 100% sure and 100% believe He does exists, watching and listening to us every second of our lives. Not just because I have to as a Muslim, but this is what I believe.

So for the past 22 years of my life, how good or how bad was I? I can't say for myself. I can just tell a story and you read.

I went to a religious school during my kindergarten years. We were made to dress the proper way, we were made to learn the proper lessons. We were made to recite all the necessary doa's or surahs we really need to know, every now and then, till it became a part of our lives.

Then I entered primary school. I went to a normal circular primary shool like most people. I still attend religous classes at least twice a week though. In my first few years as a primary school student, I was one of the smartest students there. Not to boast or what, but at that time I was really doing well in my studies. Be it in my class, or my whole batch, or in tuition, I was, if not the first, at least in the top 3. I knew my mom was really so proud of me. I knew she had this feeling I have a bright promising future for me. On the other hand, I wasn't doing that well in my religious class. I just studied the minimum to get a pass. As a young boy, I was playful and I didn't know what was important to me. I didn't take religious lessons seriously, because I thought, it's not gonna bring me anywhere if I do well, not like doing well for my academic studies. That was what I THOUGHT.

Even though I might not take religious class seriously, I never went astray, or what we would refer to as 'hanyut'. I knew very well what I can do, what I cannot do, what I must do, and I always know it's wrong to neglect religious values.

As a child, I never thought I would have done some of the bad things I did. But also there were some things I felt like doing, but then I felt it's just so wrong to do. When I was much younger, haha, I always wanted to do it once I reached the legal age. Seriously. But one fine day, I was reading a book, and I saw an illustration of what those wrongdoers will go through in the afterlife, and it just changed everything! It left me with fear, a fear that made me tell myself, "I don't wanna be like them, I don't wanna get tortured in that way. I never wanna do it!". It might seem too weak to be a wake-up call for some people, but at that time, it had a great impact in me up till today.

If you ask me, in my whole entire life, have I ever felt that my prayers was answered, I would definitely say yes. I strongly believed, that if not for my belief in Him too, I wouldn't have done well for my O's. I really felt that He does listens and gives to those who asks from Him.

But things start to change, slowly. It got worst when I finally left secondary school. People changed, some of my friends changed, got influenced by new friends, and so did my thoughts on some things. Things that were seriously bad and should never ever at least be tried once, suddenly fell into the category of "alah, it's not that bad what".

I got my first job after I was done with my O's. I got into a totally new environment, with new people. I got to know people who will say like, "oh kau puase eh. bagos2... jgn jadi macam aku." or like when I told them I cant work morning shift on Fridays because of prayers, they would say like "biar betol kau nak pegi smayang jumaat. tak bole keje cakap je tak bole..". I was like one of the few angelic workers there. But then, yeah, things changed. Who would have thought, that later on, I started to abandon my responsibilities in praying everyday, going for Friday prayers, not fasting during the fasting month, or even eating anything, as in anything just as long as it doesn't have alcohol or pork. I still can control a few things though. But because of a change of lifestyle, and influence from people, I became like one of them.

I worked my ass off to get my pay every month, and it made me think that since it's my own hard-earned money, I can do anything with it. There were times I start earning "extra income" and I finally stopped when I lost some few hundred bucks. It didn't just affect me, but some of my friends too. One of my close friend at that time gave me an advice when I asked him for help, "zhof, i'm not a good Muslim myself to be correcting you. But please, as a friend, stop all this nonsense, can't you see it's not just affecting you, but also the people around you.." . It made me realized what the hell I was doing and what's becoming of me. I finally decided to stop for good.

I somehow knew Im changing for the worst, but I was just waiting for that something to happen before I would take actions. It's just so wrong but that was the kind of person I've evolved to back then. All disappointed with yourself, and knowing you have to change for the better, but just waiting for something to happen. Just waiting for my wake-up call.

In mid 2005 I really did get my wake up call. It was really a call, a phonecall to be specific. It was a call that left me crying like a baby after that. Not just because someone is gone for good, but it finally made me realize how bad I've become, as a person, as a friend, as a son, and most of all, as a Muslim. At that very moment, I finally, CHANGED FOR THE BETTER. I changed into a better shirt, haha. Nolah, serious. Ever since that day, I took my responsibilities seriously, very seriously. It was up to the extent that even on Hari Raya itself, when I seeked forgiveness from my parents, I cried real bad. I just felt so wrong, so full of sins and wrongdoings. I felt I was closer to Him, however the one thing that I regret so much now is that when He really tested me, I chose to fail! Yes, I CHOSE to fail the test.

I was sooo damn disappointed and maybe heartbroken when I failed my first driving test back in December 05. I thought that I really deserved to pass, seriously with everything going so good for me, I thought I deserved it. But in actual fact, He knows better. I could feel it, I was tested to see if I would feel all my efforts wasted or will I continue to get even closer to Him. Usually when we feel really down with something, we would turn to Him. But at that time, things took a turn. I became weaker, and weaker and I brought myself further from Him instead.

Since that day, I changed again, back to the person I was. Once again, I knew it's bad but just waiting again for that something to happen.

When I was 20 I was called to serve my nation. I entered the army, not knowing what kind of changes I will go through. For better, or worst? Nobody knows. After 2 weeks in NS, it was the fasting month again. Due to trainings, sometimes it was really hard to resist a small sip of water. For the first week I managed to control myself. But then, again because of the people around me, I thought it wasn't that bad, and so I didn't take fasting seriously.

The following year's was worst. This time the influence was just stronger, and I've grown weaker, not physically but mentally. I don't know what kind of person I've become during my NS days, I've drifted so damn far away from the real person I should or want to be. I took responsibilities very lightly, or maybe I don't at all. Yes, I was that person.

I know that I can and should make it all up in this year's Ramadhan, cause I'll no longer be in the army and I have all the time to do whatever that I'm supposed to do this time. It wasn't that easy though, to be honest. To be back to the person I was some 3 or 6 years ago is just soo challenging. I know it's not impossible, just tough. I've tried, and I'm trying still. It's time that I become my own wake up call. It's time that I stop waiting for something to happen to finally realize again. It will never be too early, but it will be too damn late if something is to happen to me tomorrow, or the day after that or in the next few days.

I'm just so filled with disappointment right now, I'm so damn disappointed with myself. This is not who I wanna be, this is not who I should be. I'm trying reeal hard now, I have to keep on trying, I have to persevere, I have to keep this feeling with me till the day I finally leave my undesirable self.

I wanted to talk to my friends about this, but they just never gave me the chance. They are more interested with talking about their new jobs, about their girlfriends and whatever crap. I really feel like letting all these out, and so I have to do it right here. I just can't keep any longer what I feel right now.

Now, after all these confessions or whatsoever, I know some people's perceptions towards me will change. It's normal though. I might not be that really good person you know, or now you might think I'm not that bad as you thought. But whatever it is, its the same person. I've told you about me and nobody else but myself.

I would like to conclude by saying to myself, how good or how damn bad my life is at the moment, it is ALL because of ME. If I were to fall, nobody is gonna pick me up, except me myself! If I were to cry, nobody is gonna take all the pain away and make me smile again, if I don't do it on my own. If I ever feel something missing in my life, it means I've forgotten Him.

That's my story and you have read it.
Now you, be the judge.

ZHOFF AWARDS 2008 - PART 1

2008-09-15T20:55:00.001+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in history, I present to you, the much anticipated Zhoff Awards 2008!!! It's to give recognition to those outstanding moments, events, people, songs and everything else, that have the greatest impact in my life in the past 2 years.

Let the show begin...

Category: Best Song
Nominees:

I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance
Denial - Sugababes
Kau Yang Bernama Seri - Handy Black
Paperthin Hymn - Anberlin
Usang - Rahim Maarof

The award goes to: Kau Yang Bernama Seri - Handy Black

Zhoff says: This song is sounds sooo perfect. It's like the perfect song ever; the tune, music, lyrics, and I even love singing this song, although its a tough one. If songs are people, I wanna meet my Seri soon. hehehe. :)

Category: Best Album
Nominees:

Avenged Sevenfold - Avenged Sevenfold
The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
A Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds To Mars
Black Holes and Revelations - Muse

The award goes to: The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

Zhoff says: The best album so far! 4.85/5!!!

Category: Best Concert

Nominees: In my whole life, I've only been to one concert. So it's kinda obvious who will take this.

The award goes to: My Chemical Romance's 'The Black Parade Concert' at Max Pavillion.

Zhoff says: Though it was the only concert I've been to and I can't compare to know if its really damn good or not, I just had one of the most enjoyable time of my life there. The atmosphere, the anxiety, the music, the experience, was just soo wow! The next time they gonna do a concert here, its a must-go for me, definitely.

Category: Best Movie
Nominees:

Rush Hour 3
CJ7
Made Of Honor
Mr. Deeds
Saw 3

The award goes to: CJ7

Zhoff says: I'm not a fan of Asian movies, but CJ7 is one of those few Asian movies that I've watched in the cinemas. And i got to say, it really proved me wrong that they are not up to the standard. Watching it, I laughed like mad, and I even felt like crying too, because of one scene which really touched my heart. I can bet with you people, you would do or feel the same like me if you watch it. So, those who have yet to watch CJ7, i strongly recommend it. GO!

Category: Best New Obsession
Nominees:

Guitar-shredding
Karaoke
Wearing the army uniform?

The award goes to: Haha, of course, like duh, it has got to be, Karaoke.

Zhoff says: Though my parents already started karaoke-ing at home like more than 10 years ago, I never liked the idea of it. It never ever crossed my mind to give it a try at least. But earlier this year when my friend re-introduced me to karaoke and brought me to Cash Studio, I got sooo hooked on it, and it finally became an obsession, rather than a pastime, up till now. I find it soo hard to reject when anyone, at anytime, asks me to go with them. Now I'm even gonna transform my room into a so-called 'karaoke room'. Haha.

Category: All-time Favourite Song by Me (Shiok Sendiri Special)
Nominees:

Ashes Of Our Own
Dissolution
Terpaksa Aku Terima
My Last Goodbye
Ninth Of June

The award goes to: My Last Goodbye

Zhoff says: This is the one song that makes me feel so damn proud of. Everyone who listened to it said it's really good. Ceh, mcm perasan gtu eh. Hey, this is a shiok sendiri special, remember?

Category: Best New Best-Friend
Nominees:

Fauzan
Zaid
Firdaus
Hadi

The award goes to: Nobody!

Zhoff says: Not because none of them deserved it, but I think all of them deserve the appreciation. How can I ever compare my friends. All are very good to me in their own ways. Anywayz, it's not that I've found a new best friend, but since I got into NS, I got closer to a different bunch of people, but of course, I still maintain the bond with my other friends. Friends are for life! frI3ndZ For3v3R*~! haha.

Category: Most Satisfying Performance During NS
Nominees:

Hari Raya Performance @ Bukit Panjang Camp
Safkar Closing Ceremony Performance @ Leaders Hall
Batallion Cheer Competition Performance
ORD Parade Performance

The award goes to: Safkar Closing Ceremony Performance @ Leaders Hall

Zhoff says: Wow, what else can be more satisfying than this one. We literally brought the house down. The whole Indonesian crowd got on the stage and danced to our 'dangdut'. After our last song, they wanted 'ENCORE'!!! Back in camp, a picture of our band was displayed on the Hall of Fame.

Category: Best Website

Nominees:

YouTube
Dictionary.com
Google
MalayOlga
zhoff.blogspot?

The award goes to: Google!

Zhoff says: Looking for something but don't know how or where? Don't worry, there's always Google. You want a song, you know some of the lyrics, but don't know the title, google them and voila! Wanna know how to get ur moustache grow faster, google them! Wanna know how to kill someone without ever getting caught, google them! Wanna know how to make someone pregnant without having to do it? Just google it. haha, of course I'm just giving really weird and strange examples just to exagerrate. But this is one of the few websites I will always go to everytime I'm online. There's always something to be googled everytime.

Category: Best Web-based Application

Nominees:

Friendster
Facebook
Windows Live Messenger
Tagged

The award goes to: Windows Live Messenger!

Zhoff says: Of Course! Without MSN, some of you won't know me better. Without MSN, I won't know some of you better, or even get to know you at all. Without MSN, some things wouldn't have happened. Without MSN, feelings be it love, hate, anger, jealousy or whatsoever won't grow or disappear. Without MSN, I wouldn't have known some secrets maybe. But the most important thing is, without MSN, I just don't know what's there to do whenever I turn on this dying laptop. I really hope you will never ever leave me, oh dear MSN. I love you so much! Muackkzz~! h3h3zZ...

Category: Best Software of All-time

MAGIX Audio Studio
Macromedia Fireworks 8
Macromedia Flash 8
Adobe PhotoShop
Cakewalk Pro Audio 9

The award goes to: MAGIX Audio Studio

Zhoff says: Most of you don't know what the hell this is right. Well, if an artist expresses his feelings by painting on the canvas, this 'rockstar wannabe' uses Magix to make all his songs possible. I've been using this program to record, mix, edit, and create my songs since 2004 and it's just the best!

Category: Best Blog Entry

The award goes to: Stuck

Zhoff says: Everytime I read this, I feel it. So, go and read it to find out!

I'll just stop here for now. If I can think of more, I'll make the Part 2 soon. It took me a few days for this post though. Really have to wreck my brains man.

Haha, actually this is just like telling people my favourite stuffs and all, but in a different way.

See you next week, same time same channel! Right here on the-zhofry-channel!

THIRD

2008-09-15T05:05:00.003+08:00

I'm so sorry but I just have to blog. Please understand me people.

I feel so happy that finally I think I've got back my apettite to eat. I think today I ate the most so far this fasting month. For the past 10 days or so, I've been eating so little, like half a normal serving when I break fast, and usually a bowl of cereal for sahur. Imagine that, it's just so little right. Not because I don't feel hungry, but I just don't have the apettite to eat. Even when I felt so hungry in the night, I just refused to eat, too lazy to eat, no mood to eat. A few days ago I was looking at the mirror after my shower and I said to myself, "Wow, am I growing thinner and thinner or what?!". Suddenly today, I feel like feeding myself. I can eat all I want, cause I' don't think I'll get fat if I eat alot. Haha.

I'm also very happy that my 'broke' days finally came to an end. I haven't got a job though, but at least I can be sure my wallet won't be empty for the next 2 months, that is if I don't spend like some millionaire.

Although I have a secret plan, I'm still so worried about what I wanna do with my life now. I haven't really start looking for a job. I just feel I need some break after all the NS shit I've been through, I think I deserve to rest for a while. However, I feel like I need a break, during this break. You don't understand? Hah, think hard, and you will know.

I still can't answer the same damn question I've been asking myself lately. I hope to find it soon. I really hope so.

Don't worry people, I will be back to my normal self one day, that is for SURE. Guaranteed plus chop plus stick is equals to guaranteed chopstick. Haha. I will still do my job as a blogger in this zhoff.blogspot.com. Just give me some time. That is all I need, and soon, the ***** will be here., for me, for everyone that cares.

It's 5am now, I just got home about an hour ago.

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

2008-09-13T02:49:00.004+08:00

I can't really tell ALL of you what exactly I'm feeling now. You people just have to wait for tomorrow to come.

One of my Commanding Officers back when I was in Sispec, told us this and I find it really really meaningful, "If not NOW, then WHEN? If not YOU, then WHO? If not HERE, then WHERE?" I really think these are the questions you need to ask yourself whenever you need to make a decision. Whenever you feel is it right for you to do something somewhere sometime.

Till then, I still hope to ***** one fine day.
One very fine day.

THE LESSON OF A LIFETIME

2008-09-11T20:30:00.004+08:00

The last 4 long years being single is without a doubt the most valuable and biggest lesson of a lifetime for me. It gave me a chance to experience how it feels to live without love, showed me the importance of friendship, family, social life and everything else that I have or might have taken for granted. It has also taught me that love can change a person, for better or worst.

Some six years ago, I was deeply in love with someone. We were so in love with each other. Ya I know, you might think it's just some puppy love or cinta monyet or whichever animal love, but I knew it was love. She meant everything to me. She was the one who taught me the true meaning of love. In almost everything I did, I was doing it for her. Whenever I had to make a choice between her and my friends, I always chose to be with her. I neglected my friends. I neglected my family; I became more distant towards my siblings whom I've spent 16 years of my life living together under the same roof. I was so blinded by my feelings. It was because never in my life that I felt so special. Never in my life I thought I meant so much to someone. She was the reason I smiled, and the same reason I cried. She might be the reason I looked less interested in studies, but she was that reason why I wanna do so well for my O's. I was her 'personal tutor' at that time. She was doing so bad in her studies, and me, was the average borderline student. I needed her to have trust in me, that I have what it took to teach, to pull up her grades. And so, I began putting more interest in my work, paid more attention in class to understand better, I even did 'extra homework', just to be a role model to her. I wanted to prove to her, that it's really possible for an F9 student to achieve at least a B if you put everything to it. My grades did improve, alot. Same for her, she was that student who have never passed her E. Maths, but thanks to me she finally did. She was so happy about it, and it finally gave her the motivation to carry on. It was really satisfying on my part. On the other hand, her English was outstanding and that helped me improve on my language too, cause I wanted to talk and write English like her. Haha. Most of my teachers knew about me and her, but none of them saw it as a distraction for my studies, but instead I received praises for showing alot of improvements. I felt that I owed her alot, but not to my friends.
During my O's, I remembered I studied like mad, alone and with my friends. I didn't meet her at all during that time, cause I really wanted to concentrate on my big exams. She understood. She was my motivation, and my friends was my help. All the effort really paid off, cause when I got my results, I was overjoyed. That was all that mattered.

But after my exams, things changed. The feelings which for some time 'controlled' my life, slowly faded away. However, I knew that it was an answered prayer. Why? that's for me to know and for someone really special to find out from me. haha!

We left each other, and there I was, I only had my REAL FRIENDS to turn to. I felt guilty towards them, and I finally knew of my mistakes. I finally realized what I have been doing all along, I realize how bad I have treated them when I was with her. However, it taught me a very valuable lesson. True friends will ALWAYS be there for me. I began to treasure my friends more. And I told myself this should never be repeated again. It was also a lesson for my friends too, to never do what I did.

We took some time to really get over each other, even during our time with someone new. I found happiness in someone else, but not for long. I lost badly in that game of love at that time. It was so bad that for the first time in my life, I suffered depression. It was a real bad experience and I will never wanna go through it again. It was so bad that even my parents noticed that I've been spending alot of time just staring into space, so lost in reminiscense, trying to accept the fact I've failed in love this time. And again, my friends were there for me, always there for me. Whenever I'm with them, I feel less troubled and somehow made me forget what I was going through. Then I realized, I owed alot to my friends and my family. A damn lot.

I think I will never know the true meaning and importance of friendship if I never went through all that.

And then came army. bla bla bla, haha suddenly i feel so lazy to elaborate.. so bla bla, I also spend my army life without someone special, it taught me brotherhood i began to treasure my family more coz I wasnt home most of the time for 2 years.

to be continued...

MISTAKE?

2008-09-09T02:38:00.001+08:00

i am SO SO sorry my dear friend. you will know it soon though...
Haaiiiizzzz.........

ENTAH MENGAPAKAH

2008-09-08T01:32:00.002+08:00

semakin terok jadinyer zhof... aku pon tak tau nak kesiankan kau ke, nak ketawekan kau ke... aku harap aper yang kau buat tu sume kau ade pikir masak2 sampai hangos dulu la kan.. all the best. aku cume nak tgk kau bahagia dgn seseorang jer.. aku faham perasaan kau, aku faham aper yg kau dah melalui selame 4 tahun ni. mmg bole nampak perubahan kalau bandingkan kau dulu dgn kau sekarang. aku tahu kau rase mcm kehilangan sesuatu, tapi kau kena byk bersabar, lagi byk lagi, aku tau kau da byk bersabar.. tapi kau kena sabar lagi, kalau kau da tak leh sabar lagi, kau pegi je sabah.. aku bole bayarkan air ticket dier.. aku dun mind, member peh pasal aku sanggup kalau utk kebaikan kau.. aku harap2 sgt la eh, kau tu ditemukan kebahagiaan soon la, kebahagiaan mcmane aku pon tk tau. jgn risau sgt, jgn sedih sgt, u must believe thers more to life than all these.. aku tau ape kau rase, kerana kau adelah aku!

kiter kan same orang!!! bodoh ke pe??

A NEW PHASE, WITH A NEW FACE.

2008-09-07T02:23:00.003+08:00

i've spent HOURS on this one. my head nearly exploded. so what do you think? do you like it baby?? don't like your problem la, babi. hahaha.

take ur test bitches! ooops...

2008-09-02T22:49:00.004+08:00

English Paper 2 - Comprehension (Written) 100 marks

The Unrequited Love

He got to know her a year ago. He was only physically attracted to her when he saw her for the first time, cause she's one of those damn fortunate ones, to be gifted with such beauty. It was the kind of beauty that seemed so ideal to him. But still, she was just a beautiful stranger.

Being the pessimistic low self-esteem guy he is, he thought that he wasn't fit to even be her friend. He thought about it for some time and one fine day, he finally decided to take the shot. And so he made a move.

The response he got was much better than what he expected. She wasn't that arrogant as he thought, she wasn't that fastidious as he thought, in fact she was more than happy to be his friend.

Days and months passed by, they grew closer and closer, and began to know each other better. They started going out together, spent hours talking on the phone, laughed and cried together, and everything else. Every time spent together, he tried his best to please her. He did all that trying to win her heart. However all of these were oblivious to her. These once two complete strangers became strangers no more. To her, they have become the best of friends. But to him, she was the almost perfect dream, after all nobody is. Her beauty, character, her faculty of thinking, mentality, everything. They even shared alot in common. He thought, "she's the coolest girl i've ever known in my life..."

He was aware that his strong growing feelings for her was just a one-sided affair, an unrequited love. Strange enough they never talked about love, but it was so clear to him that she was just not into it, what more, feeling the same for him. There were times he really felt like giving up, because he knew very well, even if all of these become apparent to her one day, he would be left lonely and more hurt than he already was. However it was just so hard for him to do so. Everytime he tried to lose those feelings, he lost instead. He thought, maybe if he got to know someone new might help and so he tried. He kept trying, and he got to know a few along the way. All that effort just left him to ask himself, "Why is there no one else like her?"

Without him realizing, he had been hiding his feelings for a year. A year might seem so short, but it's long enough for someone to be in the dark. He talked to his friends about it, and all of them said the same thing, "You wouldn't know what she feels if you don't try..." He find the advice rather amusing, he was already so sure of what she would say to him. Literally, it was like giving her a knife and asking her to stab him straight in the heart.

One day he woke up from a dream, a dream that he still remembers clearly till today. It was the sweetest dream he could ask for, he was even smiling during his sleep. Having her by his side, whispering verses of love to each other, oh how sweet~!

He kept having that same dream after that. He felt strange, he felt like it was a message to him, telling him he really must do something about it. Seemed like it was more than just a dream.

After thinking about it for a few days or weeks, he finally made up his mind. It was time she know of his feelings for her. He wrote her a song, revealing and confessing everything to her inside it.

"Wow, I can really see you mourning in the song, Haha, i wonder who the lucky girl is." she asked.

"Well, i don't think the girl would feel lucky at all"

"Why? Come on, don't look down on yourself. You might stand a chance, you wouldn't know. Come on, tell me who the girl is!" she was still so calm about it, so eagerly curious to find out who her best friend have feelings for, but totally unaware of what was about to come.

He looked deep into her eyes and said, "Since you really wanna know. I'll be very honest with you, but promise me, you'll believe what I'm about to say. This is not a joke. Actually...... it's you. I've been hiding it all along."

His heartbeat was beating faster than Usain Bolt sprinting in the record breaking 100m run.

Her smile faded. In a split second, the ardent inquisitive look on her face diminished like it never existed. She was in a state of shock. Completely shocked, speechless, dumbfounded, silenced. But what was she really feeling inside, what was she going to say to him?

--------------------------- The End ----------------------------

Q1. How many words are there in Paragraph 2? (10marks)
Q2. What was he wearing the day he met her? (10marks)
Q3. At what time, did he woke up from 'that dream'? (10marks)
Q4. In Paragraph 4, "They started going out together, spent hours talking on the phone, ..." But what handphone models were they using? (10marks)
Q5. What chords did he use in his song for her? (10marks)

Bonus Question.
Q6. What did she actually say to him after knowing the truth? (50marks)

The Great Ramadhan Promotions!

2008-09-02T03:37:00.001+08:00

Diriwayatkan oleh Saiyidina Ali (r.a.) daripada Rasulullah S.A.W., sebagai jawapan dari pertanyaan sahabat-sahabat Nabi S.A.W. tentang fadilat (kelebihan) sembahyang sunat terawih pada bulan Ramadan :

Malam 1 - Keluar dosa-dosa orang mukmin pada malam pertama sepertimana ia baru dilahirkan, mendapat keampunan dari Allah.

Malam 2 - Diampunkan dosa-dosa orang mukmin yang sembahyang terawih serta kedua ibubapanya (sekiranya mereka orang beriman).

Malam 3 - Berseru Malaikat di bawah ‘Arasy supaya kami meneruskan sembahyang terawih terus menerus semoga Allah mengampunkan dosa engkau.

Malam 4 - Memperolehi pahala ia sebagaimana pahala orang-orang yang membaca kitab-kitab Taurat, Zabur, Injil dan Al-Quran.

Malam 5 - Allah kurniakan baginya pahala seumpama orang sembahyang di Masjidilharam, Masjid Madinah(Masjid Nabawi) dan Masjidil Aqsa.

Malam 6 - Allah kurniakan pahala kepadanya pahala Malaikat-malaikat yang tawaf di Baitul Ma’mur (70 ribu Malaikat sekali tawaf), serta setiap batu-batu dan tanah-tanah mendoakan supaya Allah mengampunkan dosa-dosa orang yang mengerjakan sembahyang terawih poda malam ini.

Malam 7 - Seolah-olah ia dapat bertemu dengan Nabi Musa serta menolong Nabi ‘Alaihissalam nenentang musuh ketatnya Fir’aun dan Hamman.

Malam 8 - Allah mengurniakan pahala orang sembahyang terawih sepertimana yang telah dikurniakan kepada Nabi Allah Ibrahim ‘Alaihissalam.

Malam 9 - Allah kurniakan pahala dan dinaikkan mutu ibadat hambanya seperti Nabi Muhammad S.A.W.

Malam 10 - Allah Subhanahuwata’ala mengurniakan kepadanya kebaikan di dunia dan di akhirat.

Malam 11 - Keluar ia daripada dunia (mati) bersih daripada dosa seperti ia baharu dilahirkan.

Malam 12 - Datang ia pada hari Qiamat dengan muka yang bercahaya (cahaya ibadatnya).

Malam 13 - Datang ia pada hari Qiamat dalam aman sentosa daripada tiap-tiap kejahatan dan keburukan.

Malam 14 - datang Malaikat menyaksikan ia bersembahyang terawih, serta Allah tiada menyesatkannya pada hari Qiamat.

Malam 15 - Semua Malaikat yang menanggung ‘Arasy, Kursi, berselawat dan mendoakannya supaya Allah mengampunkannya.

Malam 16 - Allah subhanahuwata’ala tuliskan baginya terlepas daripada neraka dan dimasukkan ke dalam Syurga.

Malam 17 - Allah kurniakan orang yang berterawih pahalanya pada malam ini sebanyak pahala Nabi-Nabi.

Malam 18 - Seru Malaikat : Hai hamba Allah sesungguhnya Allah telah redha kepada engkau dan ibubapa engkau (yang masih hidup atau mati).

Malam 19 - Allah Subhanahuwata’ala tinggikan darjatnya di dalam Syurga Firdaus.

Malam 20 - Allah kurniakan kepadanya pahala sekelian orang yang mati syahid dan orang-orang solihin.

Malam 21 - Allah binakan sebuah istana dalam Syurga daripada nur.

Malam 22 - Datang ia pada hari Qiamat aman daripada tiap-tiap dukacita dan kerisauan (tidaklah dalam keadaan huru-hara di Padang Masyar).

Malam 23 - Allah Subhanahuwataala binakan kepadanya sebuah bandar di dalam Syurga daripada nur.

Malam 24 - Allah buka peluang 24 doa yang mustajab bagi orang berterawih malam ini, (elok sekali berdoa ketika dalam sujud).

Malam 25 - Allah Taala angkatkan daripada siksa kubur.

Malam 26 - Allah kurniakan kepada orang berterawih pahala pada malam ini seumpama 40 tahun ibadat.

Malam 27 - Allah kurniakan orang berterawih pada malam ini ketangkasan melintas atas titian Sirotolmustaqim seperti kilat menyambar.

Malam 28 - Allah Subhanahuwataala kurniakan kepadanya pahala 1000 darjat di akhirat.

Malam 29 - Allah Subhanahuwataala kurniakan kepadanya pahala 1000 kali haji yang mabrur.

Malam 30 - Allah Subhanahuwataala beri penghormatan kepada orang berterawih pada malam terakhir ini yang teristimewa sekali, lalu berfirman: "Hai hambaKu : makanlah segala jenis buah-buahan yang engkau ingini hendak makan di dalam syurga, dan mandilah engkau dariapda air syurga yang bernama Salsabila, serta munumlah air daripada telaga yang dikurniakan kepada Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. yang bernama ‘Al-Kauthar’."

Subhanallah!

beauty is a gift, please use wisely.

2008-08-31T06:53:00.002+08:00

Wow, it's 7 in the morning and i'm still not asleep. Simply because i was soooo bothered by something, but it's not that simple though. I was feeling sleepy just about 3 hours ago, and i thought i would fall asleep once i tucked in to bed. But i was wrong, so wrong. I had spent these last 3 hours thinking about that something, and this bothered-self just won't fall asleep. Before any of you start to make assumptions that the thing bothering me has something to do with love, i'm pleased to inform you that you're wrong.

I don't think writing about it here is a good idea, cause i'm a nice guy. I'm a person who strongly believe in karma, what goes around comes around. If you do bad to people, bad things happen to you. Yeah, so true. That's made me to always think twice before being bad to people. Being bad, in any way. Sometimes you just have this strong urge to be the bad guy for once, or stab someone in the back, or even getting revenge. Whatever it is, my encounters with karma have made me grown paranoid in not sparing a thought for people, no matter who the bugger is. But then, what about being nice to people? Does being nice really go around and come around? I've always put myself in others' shoes (some shoes just stink, haha), to understand better what they are going through, how exactly do they feel, before taking any actions, or making any decisions concerning them. I remembered a conversation I had with a few of my NS comrades,
telling them to understand this someone's situation, asking them how they would feel if it was them instead of him. and what they answered was, "what's the point helping him, is it really worth it cause people usually don't appreciate it. sometimes people just don't see, and don't remember that, oh last time this guy helped me so i must help him in return. ..." Something like that. That was like some sort of wake up call, just a minor one, like a slap in the face and asking myself, why did it take till now for me to realize this shit.

I can't deny what they said is true to some extent, but i still wanna believe that good things that go around, do come around too.

God has created a world so beautiful, indeed too beautiful that no man-made genius whatsoever can even come a mile close to its beauty. But sad enough, its very own people are the ones who are literally making this world an ugly place to live in.

Are you one of those, taking away the beauty from God's creation?

what's the answer.

2008-08-31T04:26:00.004+08:00

365 x 4 = ????

oh my dear God, have i been fooled?

luahan part 2 n last part hopefully.

2008-08-29T20:57:00.007+08:00

this is my first ever malay song i wrote. it's about a guy having feelings for a gerl but if he were to tell her about it, it will juz break his broken heart even more, coz they juz cant be together. its 100% based on my real life experience actually. oh yeah, this is the 1st song i ever wrote which is 100% true life story. there's no proper video for this, juz lyrics. and talking abt lyrics, i got my fren to help me coz u ppl noe how wonderful my malay is.

here's the full lyrics again.

Terpaksa Aku Terima (those in italic is my own words though, the rest tu gua peh member tolong ah!)

Hari berlalu sepi mengganggu
Di mana hilangnya sinar cahaya
Tak ingin aku merasa begini
Hadirmu mengubah segala

Di lubuk hati telah pun berkata
Hanya dirimu tiada lainnya
Inginku luahkan segala padamu
Namun apakan daya

Hatimu takkan terbuka
Di matamu ku hanya teman
Bagiku kau dunia

Sekira engkau mengetahuinya
Itu hanyalah menambah derita
Dalam hatiku yang sudah terluka
Terpaksa aku menahan

Sekira aku renangi lautan
Bintang di langit pun akan ku capai
Semua itu tidak kau menilai
Terpaksa aku terima
Tak mungkin ku bersamamu

Berikan aku satu kesempatan
Untuk aku nyatakan segalanya
Sampai bilakah harusku menahan
Perasaanku yang sebenar

my so-called ORD speech

2008-08-20T22:49:00.003+08:00

in case u have no idea what ORD stands for, it stands for Operationally Ready Date, which simply means, the end of our NS liability. traditionally, ppl give their ORD speeches when they are going to leave, and so here is mine.

here we are at the last few days of our long journey. now we are about to go our seperate ways, and i cannot deny it's really sad that i have to say goodbye to all of you. I came here, a complete stranger to everyone but over time, we have created a bond, a friendship, a brotherhood, and it's always in this time when we feel so close to each other, that we have to part instead. this journey may be over, it will finally be gone for good, but what still remains is the memories we had together. good or bad, i will treasure all of them for the rest of my life.

we have gone through real shits, things i never thought i will go through in my life, and do always remember the times we went through those that we never thought we could overcome, but we did. and what made that possible is everyone here. you guys have been my motivation, inspiration, my wake up call, and sometimes, the cause of stress and depression. haha. but whatever it is, it was all a lesson for me. one damn good lesson that is.

i will definitely miss everything we used to do together, from training to sleeping in the jungle to booking in and out of camp, to f*cking people and getting f*ckd as well, to having great fun in Taiwan, and the list goes on. but of course i will really really miss the people here more than everything mentioned above, especially those of you under my command (ceh, mcm one big f*ck talking siaa..), and my fellow commanders. however, if given a choice to go through it again, i will choose not to, cause i feel we have all done our duty in serving the nation these 2 years, and that's enough. but i have absolutely no regrets at all in being thrown here to this unit, because if not for that, i believe i won't get to meet a greater bunch of people than my own fellow stingray warriors!

i wish everyone the very best in life after we leave. for sure i will remember all of you and i really hope we can still keep in contact till we grow old. haha. there's a lot of things i wanna say but let's just keep it short for now. the more i say it will sound like as if we are all gonna leave this world instead, hahaha.

once again, thanks for ALL the memories, all the support you've given me. thanks for being there when i really needed someone. i am here cause you are here, and i won't make it to this day if not for all of you, i really mean it. so now let's move on with life to pursuit our dream, whatever it is i hope it can come true one day.

goodbye my FRIENDS!!!

penantian

2008-08-16T20:42:00.002+08:00

Sepi di kamar ini hanya lilin menerangi
Beginikah siksanya hidup dalam penantian
Di tabir tirai malam ada insan
Kesepian sendirian

Setiap detik-detik ku lalui
Jiwaku gelisah membisu
Tetap setia menantimu
Bayanganmu entah dimana
Mengapa harus kita ditemukan
Kalau akhirnya meresahkan
Apakah aku satu persinggahan
Pengubat rindu

Kau dahagakan
Ku kehausan setitik rasa
Pada bayangan yang tak pasti

Kau nyalakan perasaan mengukir kemesraan
Mungkinkah ada sinar bersama impianku
Dan telah ku duga suasana
Keindahan seketika
Aku tetap menantimu

Mana sinaran
Terangilah hidupku
Tak sanggup lagi
Aku...
Sepi....

badtime story

2008-08-01T20:14:00.003+08:00

hi guys. hope u all are doing fine. i'm really having a bad time now, bothered by sooo many things. and every day and night i'll just spend hours thinking about it. some of it will go away soon, and some, i really don't know when.

sometimes, just when you thought you can sit back and relax, shit happens. and when it happens, you need to respond and react accordingly. sometimes you just don't have the f*cking mood to do so, but then, you don't even have a f*cking choice. yes, this life is yours, but it's other people who control it, unfair but what can you do? nothing! i just need to endure a few unreasonable bastards for some time now, then they'll be gone, out of mylife for good. for good i say. sometimes you just wanna say, why must they make my life miserable? especially when it's already miserable enough.

do you even CARE??! DO YOU?!!??

i-kea

2008-07-22T18:42:00.003+08:00

yesterday is one funny ikea day. i went there with my parents looking for a sofa-bed, for me of course. hahaha. for the past 5 years my room was shrunken by that queen sized bed, i think it's time to throw it away, for some more space in my room.
so we went to the superbig store at Tampines. i thought we were only going there to do some 'recce'. i didnt expect to get it on the very day itself. it was my first time buying something there, and i really didnt know that it was all self-service. i was asking my self where the hell are all the salesmen and girls. then my dad gave me a pencil and a piece of paper, "here, go and learn how to buy stuff from ikea..."
okay.

then we headed to what they called the 'market hall'. it's where you take your parts of your furniture which you have to go and assemble it yourself later on. we were at rack 26 and we thought, 'now, how the hell is this mattress gonna fit inside the cab??" its quite big actually, just slighly smaller than a queen size. we were thinking of alternatives, other than paying for a $50 delivery service which is gonna take days... after some brainstorming... haha, guess what's the choice. just squeeze everything inside, and if there's no space for me at the rear seat, i have to take another cab home. i was ok with it. at least we can save that 50 bucks.

and so we were at the carpark, with those huge stuffs we bought. we folded the mattress into three, tied it with a rafia string, and tried to squeeze it inside the car. people around were looking at us, like as if we were commiting some crime or what, i looked at this man and i gave him the 'what stare-stare look'. haha. that should stop him.

amazingly, we managed to get everything inside the car. and by looking at it, i dont think anyone can sit behind. so i was about to go off to take a cab when my mom said, 'why not u sit in front, i try to squeeze behind." haha, and yes, my mom did manage to fit in. and from the front passenger seat, i cant even see my mom if i looked behind. imagine that. and the bed frame box was sticking out from the car boot. my dad's taxi somehow looked like a delivery truck. haha.

last night i spent hours dismentling my old bed, threw the matress away, and assembling the new sofa-bed, and a bit of cleaning the room. the room looks slightly bigger now, and cooler as well. now, i have to wait for september to get my own home theatre system, and there it is, zhoff's karaoke studio! wakakakaka. call it crazy but it's cool!

i saw something from ikea yesterday...
" Q: Why isn't there always an assistant when i need one?
A: ....Serving yourself means you don't have to pay for help you don't need."
and so i thought, so the workers there are getting paid to do what?!?!!

zhoff, do you have a future?

luahan hati part 1

2008-06-22T21:59:00.003+08:00

semakin hari, semakin ku rasakan kesepian dalam hidupku ini.
sampai bila lagi harus ku menahan?
sekiranya kau mengetahui perasaanku terhadapmu,itu hanya akan menyakiti lagi hatiku.
kerna ku tahu,

cintamu...

bukan untukku.

Hi, saya bukan Achik...

2008-05-17T03:52:00.005+08:00

had one fun day yesterday. walked so far, sang like mad, pretending to be interviewed and melayankan seekor belon merah. hahaha. here's our video, enjoy.

guess who's back...

2008-05-08T06:55:00.003+08:00

yo, finally i'm back from Taiwan. had a great time there but at the same time, i missed home, i missed my family and all my friends back in Singapore. but now i'm just soo so happy to be back. i miss chilli sauce too, cause ther's no chilli sauce in Taiwan! hahaha...

if i were to blog abt everything in Taiwan, i just don't know how to start and when it will end cause i have ALOT to blog abt. so, i won't. haha. maybe la, maybe if i have the mood and the time then i will.

anywayz, watch this video... it's the craziest ride i've ever been on. enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/v/KkATW-0ESHs

miss me when i'm gone?

2008-03-26T01:34:00.001+08:00

i'll be flying off soon. real soon.
and i'll be away for 36 days to be exact.
gonna miss this place, gonna miss u all.
but most importantly, i'm gonna miss karaoke-ing. huahuahua.

kami mesti diselamatkan.

2008-03-13T10:23:00.002+08:00

i am very very very very tired. ever since that bugger ran away, we have been lacking in sleep, or maybe not so, but we really lack sleeping on the bed. we've been sleeping anywhere and anytime. our sleeping hours are all over the clock. be it during the day or night, whenever its time to rest, we rest. day and night we've been out there. my back is starting to ache. my legs are starting to ache. my shoulders are aching too. and in 2 weeks time we are off to Taiwan. seriously i don't know how. life is unpredictable i guess. haha.

i can't tell what we've been doing in details. if you're smart enough you should know. i don't know when all of this will end. it's just so tiring. and the rain is just making it worse. it has been raining everyday. rain and rain and rain and rain. all wet and tired. aaaaaaarrggghhh!!!!!

ugly is the new beautiful

2008-02-18T01:44:00.002+08:00

i feel so ugly right now because there are so many pimples on my face. all thanks to putting on camo cream during 4D4N field camp earlier this week. and frankly speaking, my face was never 'uglier' than this before. i never had so many before this. not that I'm being vain or am i? haha, I'm not but why I'm saying so much is because i don't like it that's why.

my birthday's coming up and honestly, I'm not expecting much. i won't be surprised or get disappointed if i don't get anything cause it's just too normal for me, but however i think I'll get disappointed enough if no one remembers it, especially the people that mean a lot to me. haha. seriously I can't think of what i want if you ask me. but if you ask me what i really really want, i think they are just those non-tangible stuffs, which are impossible for you to go and buy them somewhere. like what? go and think hard. when the thought is there, I'm already happy enough.

wouldn't it be really nice if someone sing for me? hahaha. to say it in a singlish way, 'wait long long!'

bye, gua mau tido.

a seventh murder

2008-02-10T12:13:00.000+08:00

ok plan failed again. this sucks.

my DEAR blog, can you please like offer me some help or what, rather than just sit there and do nothing? here i am feeling not so ok, and you're not doing anything. wtf ah?? please, don't be useless.

anyways, you can never help la. what are you. what can you do.
lets not talk about this.

i think i've lost my camp pass. shit la. must have dropped somewhere no one knows. on thursday night i was about to leave home for camp, but i couldn't find my camp pass and i began searching like one mad dog. asked my mom abt it and she helped me search, but stilll it was nowhere to be found. made me freaking stressed for some time. but i think i am much much more puzzled than stress. cause it's quite impossible that it is lost now. how can it be lost? i know it's not in camp cause if really i had left camp without my pass, i would have been stopped by the sentry at the gate. but that didnt happen. and i'm very2 sure it was with me when i left camp. then when i reached home, as always, i would just throw them on my bed, or sometimes on top of my small wardrobe. there can be no other place in my house that i would put my pass. cause it's been a routine. once i reached home i get changed, then go toilet. haha. where else could it be???! sometimes i would keep it inside my bag, but it's not inside!!! ive done a 100% search on my bag, it's not inside. and sometimes i keep it in my pocket. but... i think you know the answer. where? oh where oh where can my camp pass be? and i didnt even go out the days before. and even if i did go out, i know i don't bring my camp pass with me. reason being, i dont want it to get lost. but look whats happened now. aku very heran ah ppl. macamane bole hilang eh???!!

i watched CJ7 yesterday. what can i say, i think it's the best movie i watched this year. oh wait, it's the first and only movie i watched in 08. haha. but i think it's worth it la. you guys should go and watch too. its damn funny, u will laugh like mad, believe me and gerls, my advise is, bring along tissues cause ur gonna cry. and not because from laughing. to be honest, i had quite a hard time holding back my tears, but i managed to. so if you wana have a good time laughing and crying, watch CJ7.
zhoff.blogspot rates it 8.5/10.

to the R.O.C once again.

2008-02-07T19:00:00.000+08:00

31st March - 05 May 2008 : OFF TO TAIWAN
not for holiday, but for training. but anyways, it's free! haha. dont miss me, just pray i come back in one piece. chey!

in the meantime, my fellow Muslims, read this, it's very interesting, guarantee plus chop. haha.
it's something i found out some 2 years ago and always wanted to spread the word, but i guess i've always forgot. but here it is. READ! c'mon, read bitch! haha.
http://www.miraclesofthequran.com/mathematical_03.html

in the other meantime, i am damn bored. plus, i am damn bored. but i am so damn bored. haizz...

WHERE'S MY SHIrT???

2008-01-18T19:41:00.000+08:00

ok, something very weird happend today.

earlier this afternoon, i was hanging my uniforms to dry. and i did the old skool way, haha. clipped them onto a bamboo pole and hang it outside the kitchen window, u noe wad i mean. and as i was trying to fit in the pole to the hole, haha, pole to the hole ka pa???! ok, as i was trying to put the pole in the hole, i felt that it was kinda heavy, like i almost lost grip of it. but i held on to it firmly ah, and the funny thing is, or should i say the scary thing is, the ting was like heavier and longer than usual, so i had to reach out further (try to visualize fitting a long pole into the hole) , and i felt like i was gonna fall down!!! and guess wad, i even said to myself, "eh zhoff ur gonna die, this is how ur life ends" i was sooooo scared at that point of time!!! hahaha. i felt like falling down but i still hold on to the stupid heavy pole. but in the end i managed to put it inside and im still alive, haha. of course im still alive. hah. now, THAT, is part 1.

then came part 2.
it was ard 7 and i went to check on my laundry. whether they are dry or wad. and to my shocking shock, where's that f***ing pole, wif my two No. 4 shirts and 1 trousers??!? i looked at the hole in which i put that pole in, hah! i saw broken pieces of bamboo. wtf. WTF!!! IT BROKE!!! broke and fell down, i looked down, all the way to the ground, still, WHERE'S MY SHIRT?!??!
there was no sight of my uniforms. wad siaaaaaaa...!!!! i scanned through every floor downwards, coz im living on the highest floor, and on the 7th or 8th floor, i saw sumting dat looks like wad i'm looking for. i saw camou shirts and pants. but, i cant confirm if its reali mine. den i began to wonder.. if its reali mine, wad izit doing ther?? maybe they are helping me, or are they? maybe they found it on the ground floor and duno who it belongs to, although my name is sewn to the shirt, but den who the hell is dis guy rite? or are they trying to steal it? or maybe its juz not mine? all sorts of questions... wonder and wonder... den the house phone rang. it was my mom. somehow she was downstairs, so i told her abt it and asked her to check it out.. i tot it was over den.
abt five mins later, they went up. with no army shirts! hahaha.. so i askd, and my mom said thers noting on the groundfloor and she did see some army uniform hanging on the 7th floor, but, she cant confirm its mine, it was already dark by then. and so I went down to check myself. hahaha. it was dark, i couldnt see everything clearly. ahhhh, fuck. please, if u are the one who found my uniform, please, i dun expect u to give it back to me, since u duno who it belongs to. but, juz dun take it! for this case, finders are NOT keepers. u wana be a keeper, go and be a goalkeeper! haha. no, seriously, JUZ DUN TAKE MY UNIFORM PLEASE! they are gonna cost me some big bucks to get new ones. the uniform + name + formation badge + infantry collar badge + RANK!!! = mite cost some 50bucks?? for 1 shirt, if 2, 100bucks?!??! no way!!! ok.. den, how abt, all the shits i went through wearing dat shirt = PRICELESS! i noe, for everyting else theres mastercard, but for my shirts, they are juz priceless stuffs alrite... pls pls, to whoever, juz dun take it please, give it back to me!!! or maybe the bangla stole it, if so, den i say, FUCK U BANGLA! but for now, i cant say much... haizzz....

PLEASE, DON'T TAKE WHAT'S NOT YOURS! BE RESPONSIBLE. BE A MAN, DO THE RIGHT THING!

what was it?

2008-01-11T19:17:00.000+08:00

i felt like a piece of thrash.

UNDERSTAND?!!

happy new ears!

2008-01-01T20:16:00.000+08:00

my new year resolutions for 2008.

1. improve my guitar skills a damn lot
2. start saving money
3. improve my English, hahaha
4. blog more than last year!
5. get myself a new pair of slippers. (some idiot stole mine, anyway its not a resolution rite)
6. play soccer more
7. leave the Army (oh yeah, i WILL in 9mths time! ORD OH!!!)
8. find a job
9. pursue a Degree somewhere....

i think that's about it. anyway its not good to have so many resolutions, its called ' macam paham'.
ok so 2007 had left us. just like 2006 did 1 year ago.
its a new year, lets hope some things change. but 08 started off in a very damn-boring way. coz today was juz soo damn.. boring la!

so how was 2007?

DID YOU KNOW....?
-07 is the only year i was a 'soldier' throughout. in 06, i was in the army for only the last 3 months, and in 08, i have only 9mths left. so, 07 was my soldier-year. kakaka
- 07 was song-less. as u noe me, i write songs, and record them and bla bla bla... but last year, i think i was too busy to write even one.
- i went to Taiwan for the 1st time. for the 1st time i went overseas without my family. the best thing is, its FREE! AND.... im going again this April.
- i got my rank, and believe it or not, i had this near-suicidal feeling when i found out that i was going to 5SIR(my camp now). i thought it was the end of the world! hahaha! but look at me now, i'm ok. still alive and kicking!
- i blogged the least in 07. i can count the no. of entries i wrote last yr. and its all so short. it was bcoz of busy + no mood to blog. i find doing other things more meaningful.

2007 was just tiring. such a busy year in my Army career. training after training, exercise after exercise, all back to back, packed and tk bagi chance sakzz! hahaha. remember Army Open House? hahaha... damn damn tiring. damn busy. but they are all memories. good memories.

before i know it, it will all be over.

whatever it is, lets juz hope this year, will be much better than last year. and last but not least, zhoff.blogspot would like to wish EVERYONE a very HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008! MAY YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL YEAR AHEAD OF YOU AND ALL THE BEST IN EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO. till then...

pissed off!

i mean peace out!!!

post reminiscence

2007-12-25T21:44:00.000+08:00

"Those were the best days."

are friendships not meant to last?
do friends come and go...?

I-BLACK-PARADED

2007-12-16T21:34:00.000+08:00

MCR concert in singapore was damn fuc*ing awesome!!! it's the best concert i've ever went to, but den its the first and only one dat i went to! hahaha. but seriously ah, i reali enjoyed myself x10000. it was reali worth my money. and time, and my voice, and my energy, all the sweat, being pushed ard and getting sandwiched in between ppl i duno. for once i put my face aside, and screamed and shouted and sang and jumped like i was high on coke. huahuauha.. now i'm still getting over the fact that it's all over. its quite painful, i feel like crying now. hahaha..

i heard MUSE is coming here. cant reali confirm dat but, amcm, MAU PEGI KA PA??? MAU PA??

1FINEDAY

2007-12-06T20:52:00.000+08:00

one fine day, what's mine will be mine. and that day is a fine one indeed. haha.
i'm soooo bored. not bored as in i have nothing to do, ill always hav sumting to do. now that i'm still in NS u noe, still ok.. haha. but bored as in... u'll noe wad i'm talking abt..
i always hav my guitar. its the best thing ever la, like u juz strum the thing and u can play songs, its juz so wonderful. hahahaha.

juz dat.. maybe i need sumting else, like a cat or sumting ah. hahaha. for ur info eh ppl eh, im not so afraid of cats anymore man! coz im not afraid of dogs too! coz i noe now dogs are afraid of me, and their bitches too.

haha, ok i tink i've lost my blog-touch guys.. i dun find the excitement in blogging like how i used to. but i wont stop la eh. coz i noe i got alot of fans.. huahuahua, fans kipas ade ah.. hahahaha. prasan siakkzzz..

k ah singapore citizens, bye.
rest assured; u ppl will be safe as long as i'm defending this land. HO'AH!!!

BLACK PARADER

2007-11-25T21:09:00.001+08:00

SEE YOU THERE!!!

its getting real baby...

2007-06-24T16:39:00.000+08:00

i am feeling sooo bored right now. i came back from camp dis morning from guard duty, and i need to book in to camp again tonite. dat sucks man. but im bored coz i duno wad to do. we COULD hav gone jamming today if i didnt sleep juz now, but i was toooo tired man, after al dat stupid guard duty. its 2hrs of prowling ard the camp followed by 4hrs of rest, for 4 times. how can u ever get gd sleep from dat? i hope i wun be doing again for a long long time now. 5 guard duties in 2 weeks? dats juz ridiculous. baik jadi RP sakzz! haha.

come to think of it, after how much i hate NS and cant wait for it to be over, im actually becoming more and more worried as the days pass by. and the thing dats worrying me is.. none other than my own future. haha, sounds weird, but its real. REAL life starts after NS. no more playing ard. and i dun even noe wad i wana do. do i wana further my studies, or start working? haha, and the 'start working' here, is not those jobs like what most of us do while on holiday or work part time or wad. we are talking abt a career, or some sort like dat.
ok den if im not prepared for dat, which i think im not, i'll go and study sumore. but den again, more questions arise.
its all getting more and more real man. we are unaware its coming nearer and nearer as we grow older and older. thers alot of tings i wana say but sumhow i dun feel like saying coz i tink its juz too much. and den, ok, lets jz say, i got myself a job. it still doesnt end ther, ther will still be alot of doubts. how long will i work ther? will i be happy doing wad im doing? and it goes on and on. den, talk abt.. haha, starting a family. it kinda sounds funny but the fact is, one fine day, it will happen, insya Allah.

you see, the REAL LIFE starts after NS. i do have lots of regrets, regrets abt maybe not too concernd abt my future, regrets of not performing well in my studies and so on. poly was juz 3 yrs and i guess i blew it. i slacked too much. now where can my diploma take me. really no idea. i realy need some light in this. sometimes i wish singapore isnt like singapore where u can still make it big without education. haha.

are you prepared for the real world???

the zhoffModel

2007-06-23T00:14:00.000+08:00

haha, bored.

ok, grow up faster and lets get married!

gym-museum

2007-06-21T20:45:00.000+08:00

helo here i am again.

yesterday, for the 1st time in my life, i went to the gym! haha.. oklah, its the 1st time i went to a public gym. ive been to gyms before but dat was in camp. at 1st im like very paise2 ah wana go, coz i noe the ppl ther all body big2 nice2 but my body, hah! mcm kayu. kakaka. but den when im inside, its actuali not dat bad la. coz most ppl buat hal sendiri. not dat ppl will laugh at me or wad rite.. so its not bad ah.. so.... gues wad. i went ther again dis morning. haha.. and gues wad again... there were many chicks! haha.. u noe wad im talking abt or not? not the ayam chicks u noe. mane ade ayam pat gym siakzz??! haha, so not funy sia.

after gym i went home coz i was tired la sey! sape seh tak penat. org giler je tak penat seh. and i brought BK again for lunch. i dun noe dat was the duno how many-th time i had BK in e past 2 weeks. dats jz bcoz i reali love their french chicken sandwich. dat was wad made me fell in love wif BK some 5yrs ago.
den at home i was browsing thru the dvds, and i found Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. i got confusd for a while. and i tot dat was the latest one, i was wondering since when did whoever bought dis ting? how come i didnt noe? how come my sisters nvr watch it like crazy coz they always did, sumore its new rite. den i realizd dat tu harry potter baru nyer kepale otak aku. the new 1 is the order of the phoenix. ohhh.. but den, i stil got confused ah.. like how come i nvr watch it before. i tried my best to remember if ive watchd it ever before but i juz cant remember aniting. so i playd the dvd ah. and watching it for less den a minit, hah! ni aku da tgk la siol! and den i rememberd, so its the one abt the goblet of fire ah!!! hahahaha.. all this while i tot dat dis upcoming harry potter sequel was the 4th one.
ok, so enuf of harry potter, i browsd thru the dvds again, and i found Turistas. the movie is sick. and i love sick movies. i tink its 1 of those NC16 or M18 movies coz there were some scenes inappropiate for the youngsters. haha. but den, apart from the topless girls, it is reali a sick one. i say the movie is good. coz all sick movies are gd to me. hahaha. now i still wana watch the hills have eyes 2. i hope somebody buy it soon. or rent it. or borrow. or steal.

after the movie i went to sleep coz i felt like sleeping so i went to sleep. i woke up and my fren askd me out. i felt like going out but somehow i wana juz stay at home and watch tv coz for the past 2 days i've missd the ch8 drama The Greatest Love of All. and i dun feel like missing it again coz i dun like to miss stuffs esp wen 1 of my gerlfrens is in it. haha, mcm paham. im hookd on the show coz we've been watching it almost everyday in camp.

ok i tink dat shud be enuf for wad i did today or yesterday or tomorrow or wad ah. its not dat its interesting or wad rite. oh yes, gues wad... ive...
i've gaind weight!!! hahaha, and im happy abt dat. finally after so long, i've reachd the 60kg mark. kekeke. yes, dat means i used to be 55. for duno how long. and i tink the last time i took my weight was a few months ago.. like maybe 5-6 months ago. hahaha, no wonder i felt like heavier seh. haha, mcm paham jer. i hope to gain more weight. coz ppl say, if u cant grow taller, grow fatter! hahaha...

i tink i've lost my inspiration. ive lost the touch. its been months since i last wrote a song. i need to be inspired. army doesnt inspire me at all. and im growing sick of the same old songs in my MP3, i need new sounds man.. currently im listening to aniting. aniting nice. i juz need something new to hear once in a while. dat makes life more interesting. i need someting new and i need someone new. haha.

mommy, its gymnasium, not gymuseum.

try ah siol

2007-06-16T20:54:00.000+08:00

got noting better to do.

Create your own Friend Test here

if given a choice

2007-06-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

ok. lets make this short and sweet. sometimes i feel that we are living our own lives, but living our own lives doesnt really mean making all the choices on our own. or worst, we aren't given any choice at all. its just not fair. i just hate ppl who make other ppl's lives miserable. my life is my life, who the fuck are u to fuckin ruin it? we can all do our own stuffs and live in peace, but sum ppl juz dun tink so. these ppl can go to hell. haha.

and why, why, why must they post me to of all places, bukit panjang camp, when i am living in the East!!! that is juz so fucking troublesome! do u noe dat? use ur brains la dammit.

if given a choice, i choose u.

he's back, or maybe I am back!

2007-05-27T00:20:00.000+08:00

from one of my posts posted in Aug 06,
"talking abt choices, haha, yesterday my heart almost broke into pieces.. i first heard it on the radio, den i checkd on the internet to find out if its true.. i heard on the radio, "beckham was dropped from the new Steve McClaren England squad".. i was abit shockd of coz, being an England + Beckham fan (even though i AM him).. but den i tot i heard wrongly or maybe it was juz rumours, so yesterday i went to check it out.. i went to theFA.com and yeaaahh.. i heard right.. becks wasnt chosen in the new squad.. wad siaa, juz bcoz he resigned as captain, and the new manager takes ovver, den u drop him ah?? ahh??? aiyo.. i was heartbroken ah of coz, i feel for him.. ceh! hahaha.. sedih ah........"

BUT NOW,
David Beckham is back in the team! hahaha.. or like how sum mite put it, I am back! haha. perasanz perzz~
it was good news when i was watching the news, of coz. the news giv u news..

the aftermath

2007-05-21T21:50:00.000+08:00

helo helo helo, wadsup man? haha, i noe i noe, u miss me. haha. dats like... soooo.. da biase dgr! hahaha.. ok, i miss blogging too man. its been too long since. alot of things had hapend in the past duno how many weeks or months or years.. alot of shits hapend man.

the last time i blogd was juz before i left for taiwan. so u mite ask how was taiwan. ok, so we went ther for sum 22 days.. 2 weeks of training, and 4 days of R&R. duno wad it stands for, maybe rest & relax, or rest & recreation, or rest & recovery, or ... rabbits and rats? or robin and rice? or.. rain and rain? i duno man. haha. ha.

ok, sooo.. the training ther was like ten thousand times tougher than training here. cant reali describe in details, but its reali2 tough ah, and i kena alot of shits man.. the training was so tough that i did what i tot i cudnt do, i did wad i tot i cudnt bear to endure, i discoverd my limits, my strengths, and also my weaknesses, i realized how gd or bad a fren i am, i was F-d upside down left right center til i broke down to tears! no kidding man. i CRIED IN TAIWAN!!! for like 2 or 3 times. but not in front of ppl ah.

the training was sooo soo tiring dat for the 1st time in my life, i experienced real sleep-walking! hows dat? do i even noe dat i cud actuali sleep in my walk? not walk in my sleep u noe, sleep in my walk! yeah.. the ting is, thers dis 7 day field camp, and we reali lack sleep. and the very last day, we hav to walk thru the nite, for abt 12km or so... and den.. after like walking for abt 8km like dat, we were all reali shagd and sleepy. so i was walking and walking... den sudenli i duno wad hapend la. sudenli i find myself waking up while walking. wic means, i fell asleep! it felt weird ah. mcm style jgk ah. i didnt noe seh dat u cud actuali fall asleep while walking. it was cool ah. haha. and if the person walking in front of u is also sleep-walking, u cud actuali see him walking like one idiot drifting all the way to the left or rite. funny sia.. when i woke up eh, like feeling very lost ah, like im asking myself, eh y am i here, wer am i, wad am i doing, wer am i going, hu are dis ppl and etc2 ah. it was a new experience for me. if u wan dat experience too, maybe u shud try it out. try not sleeping for 2 days, den walk thruout the nite.. maybe u can get to experience dat. haha.

ok, den bla bbla bla.. when our last exercise ended, fuyoh! the feeling was great man. it was the last training we did together, after dat, unofficialy we were all sergeants already. but all of us were freaking high also bcoz.... of RnR!!! holiday's here! haha..

after all the post admin stuffs.. on 8 May, dat morning we left the camp.. finaly we were in civilian clothing. we went to several theme parks. i took wadeva rides dat i cud take. some are reali seram ah siol!!! thers dis 1 ride, i expect it to start slowly, but the thing juz sped off like dat. i screamed. for the first time, it wasnt on purpose. it was reali unexpected u noe.
we also went to Ocean World wer we watched dolphins and seals performed. its kinda fascinating ah. i duno how they train animals seh, mcm style gitu eh train binatang eh, binatang.
oh yes, and not forgetting the shoping ther. thers alot of tings to buy la, ape2 pon dorg jual ah. very tempting, very very tempting. i bought wad i wanted to buy. but not everyting. i bought 4 tshirts, 2 polo tees, 4 belts, 1 pair of shades, 1 bag, 3 pairs of socks( the socks are very2 cheap, haha), and i tink the rest goes to my food. and some souvenirs. i spent quite alot on food. i miss the donuts ther man. mmmmmm....

on 12 may, finally we are going back to spore. once we reachd the changi airport, we were greeted by so many parents, so many ppl ah, mcm star seh rase. hahaha.

i mite not be in taiwan now, i mite not get to go ther again, but the memories will always stay wif me.. awwwwwww..... memories ah beb... memories.. those are the best ns memories so far..
oh yes, and what hapend to the NSmen in Taiwan, its very2 sad to hear. my mom was worried and she kold me when she heard the news, but im ok. im safe. Alhamdulillah.

overall i say, the taiwan trip was GREAT!

gonna miss training wif u guys!!!

R.O.C

2007-04-20T18:56:00.000+08:00

bye bye my s'porean frenz, by 0700 210407 i'll be off to taiwan. hahaha.. i'll be back in 23 days. i've never been so far from home for so long. this is the longest and furthest i am from my family n frenz. gonna miz u ppl as much as u ppl miz me, haha! 3 weeks will be fast. i hope everyting will be fine. take care guys!

army life is depressing

2007-03-26T10:30:00.000+08:00

ok guys here i am, finally.. haha, been kinda lazy or too busy to blog. for almost 2 months now.. back when i was still a private! hahaha, im a corporal now dammit! hahahaha.. ok, so how am i? im.... i duno ah.. if i say im ok rite, den wic aspect of life am i refering to? hahaha.
is army life gd? NO.
is my civilian life gd? dun tink so.
am i in gd health? not at all. im having dis stupid flu n cough n im actuali on mc yesterday n today. hav to go back to camp tonite..
so i dun reali noe wad to say la if u ask me how am i.. but den.. i tink i mite juz say not so gd lah! hahaha.. coz dats wad i reali feel. i dun feel gd at all. so y the hell shud i say wad i dun mean? rite??!

i hate dis army life, i cant wait for September 2008!!!!! wake me up when september ends. haiizz..

the most depressing days rite now are those 'book-in days'. the days wer i hav to go back to camp after enjoying or not enjoying my weekend. i will reali feel like shit when its 'the day'. it juz sucks. i tink ive said dat alot of times already. now i reali hate sundays and the other days wen i hav to go back to camp. i juz hate the process of the transformation from a free and happy civilian to a prisoner of pasir laba camp. but once in camp, being there wif all my so called comrades, haha, i start to feel home. now i duno wic is my 2nd home. coz the fact is, i spend more time in camp than anywer else, even my own home! hah! wad do u tink?

no denying dat army is fun at times, but the thing is.. its still, STILL a something dat i'm forced to do. now picture dis. u are forced to join something dat u reali dun like. and in there, u are forced to do stuffs, and if u dun do, u get F*d! and if u do it wrong, u get F again. u will lose ur virginity tankx to them. haha. sometimes its juz unfair. but dats wad i call life in singapore. wad can i do n wad can i say, its all useless. juz go wif the flow and endure for a few more months now and soon everything will be over. and den, i will for sure miss those times in army but never will i go thru it again, ever!

being in NS for abt 7 months now, i sumhow realised dat its kinda lonely being alone, u noe.. alone as in... u noe.. as in not having the other one, u noe wad i mean nigga? yeah? haha. its true la. yalah, i do feel it at times. yes.. sometimes i feel like i mite need dat special person, sometimes i feel dis is the time.. but some part of me dont tink so. maybe its not ah. like wad do i reali look forward to wen i get to book out? juz get home and get online and maybe la, maybe some great ppl wud be online to talk to me, or get myself too busy wif recording my own sounds so i wun even hav time to tink abt anything else, or ask sum ppl out and try to cum up wif a plan or 2, wic mite work or mite not, or juz rest at home, and ther goes ur critical precious time as a civilian.

i need a new electric guitar. its officialy useless now. i need to get my laptop repaired. i need a chair. haha. i want air-cons! i wana get digital drumset. plus guitar amps, mics, mixers, bass guitar, and we need a bassist! lets trun my room to a home studio. dats wer iwill spend my whole life in. hahaha.. after my ns i hope to get all the stufs i want. and i dun wana work. i juz wana stay at home for 3 years doing nothing but juz record and record till its reali perfect. den i wana send our demo to maybe universal records or reprise, or wicever.. den we will get a record deal. we will need to go the states for sum work on the album, and etc2..our first ever album is launched there. den worldwide. millions of copies were sold. we hit the top 10 charts almost everywhere. we become hot in spore especially. we got into the MTV awards, became the first asian rock band to grab 3 awards in one nite; best album, best video, and best rock band, even though we weren;t realli a arock band. but dats ok. we tink its fair enuf. after 2 years, our label opens business in spore. we get to come back home and still doing our stuffs. we do alot of shows here and there. we became millionaires. everyone is happy. our lives, damn busy, but we are all happy wif wad we hav achieved. 3 years later, all of us had already settled down wif our other half. we find it hard to balance things. we take a break. sum ppl say we went MIA for a year and a half. we cant accept dat. we come up wif a show, and more shows. and release a 3rd album. it went triple platinum. hahaha. finally, after 10 years in the business, we are 34 now. we decide to call it the end. the end of us. we do a farewell concert. alongside wif other big names in the scene. it is a blast. 95 000 strong crowd. it is the biggest ever concert in the history of Spore. after dat, we lead a normal life. wif all that money we earnd, we establishd our own label and recording studio, zhoffRecords. and studio86, becomes our bread and butter from then on. however, sum ppl in the business are unhally wif the name , zhoffRecords, claiming it to be someting selfish. so ok, we came up wif something else, we call it suicideRecords. den everyone shuts up. it means consent. ppl working wif me soon stopd calling me by name, they call me, 'boss'or 'Sir' instead. haha, sometimes i tink its juz weird. every morning i drive my WR-X from my private home to my office, wif my 'ma-am' by my side, holding our cute baby girl in her arms, i look at her and she looks at me, and we smile. and she kiss me. ;) i tell myself, i am the man!!! hahahha..

now THAT is a dream. need to wake up now, going camp soon.. haaiiiizzzzzzz.......

R21

2007-02-19T21:29:00.000+08:00

allo allo.. allo!!! hello!!!! OIII!!! HELLO LAH!!!! TAK DGR PER??
hahahha.. wad the f... must sign up wif google wadeva shit den can blog, so wadeva ah, anyting for the sake of blogging! wahahaha, coz im zhoff the blogman. ha.

ummmmm.... i duno wad to say ah for now.. juz testing2 je.. ah yes, got sumting to tell u, i can sign in to my msn alreadi.. been using stupid old skool windows mesenger sakzz!~ h3h3kZx. but i had rectify the prob.. hahahaha, rectify ke per?!?!!! im happy for dat la.. skrng da bole tarok display pic, hahaha.. k k.. best.

see u guys ard.
tomorrow... TOMORROW, WHEN UR TALKING TO ME, UR ACTUALLY TALKING TO AN ADULT!

excused hand

2007-02-04T18:15:00.000+08:00

21 Jan 07
hello ppl, its been some time since i last blogd. if ur wondering how am i, im not so fine ah. ive been having cough and flu for the past 1 week + now. and i sprained my arm muscles, i tink so ah. my hand is very2 painful, tanx to the very intensive training they had for us dis week. we did the SOC ( Standard Obstacle Course) 3 times u noe.. thrice a week, dats crazy man.. after the soc, i was like almost gonna cry bcoz its juz too painful la dammit.. it felt like as if my two hands are broken.. and if i grip on to someting, after sum time my hand will feel numb and it sucks ah.. i tink if a small boy is experiencing dat, he wud juz cry! bcoz its very painful! hahaha.. and den i felt like i was gonna blackout, duno wads wrong ah. im trying my best not to use much of my arm muscle now coz i really hope it wud get better after some rest. i really hope so lah. next week got a lot of important lessons wic i cant afford to miss so dats the reason y i didnt go for MC.. wahlau, if next week rilek2 ah, i wud hav asked for one man..

tomorrow will be the 6th week of my sispec course, and thers 4 more weeks to go.. it seems quite fast actuali. but after dat 4 weeks, still hav another 11 weeks ah.. hahaha. but... if everything goes well for me, i will get my corporal rank in 5weeks time. at least sumting per... and....... my bday is in less den a months time. but i dun reali care but den rite, i'll be turning 21 sia!!! hahaha.. can watch R21 shows liao! haha.. but im not reali looking forward la, the usual looking-forward to bday feeling is not there anymore, maybe bcoz of wad im going thru rite now. dis NS shit la.. i realized dat since i startd my NS, the only thing dat i look forward to is bookouts and public holidays! hahaha.. its like less tings interest me now.

04 Feb 07
last week we had a 4D3N field camp and tomorrow we'll go for another one but at Tekong. field camp = shit! i hate going outfield siaaaaaaa!!!!!! everytime im outfield i feel more homesick.. hahahaha.. merepek ah ni sume!
NS sucks man!!! i realli realli wan my civilian life back so badly. faster ORD leh!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrhhH!!
im feeling like shit! its the same old feeling i always get before booking in.. i hate sundays. haha.. if everyting goes well, lagi 3 minggu gua naik pangkat beb!!! hahahahahhaa...

fuck this. jungle warfare sucks

why must ppl war? i want PEACE IN THIS WORLD!!!! SO THERES NO NEED FOR STUPID NS!!!!

I NEED MOTIVATION.

hullo 2 0 0 7, long message over.

2007-01-02T02:36:00.000+08:00

halo people.

i deleted my prev post coz im scared i might get charged or wad for writing abt NS stuffs.. muahahaha.. juz to play safe ma! cannot post pics also. its a bit strict ah dis army stuffs.. speaking of army, i tink im doing ok lah so far.. ok lah, hows SISPEC? OK lah alamak.. im doing ok, dun wori abt me. though sumtimes i still tink this is all a waste of time, but wad can we do.. lan lan suck thumb ah!

its 2007 already, im sure all of u are aware of dat, but im also sure dat most of u will still forget one.. like surely ah, later wen u need to write date or wad ah, confirm sum of u cock will still write 06 one.. i can bet wif u.. guarantee plus chop! hahahaha.. ok. ok eh..

its 2007 already, dat means its no more 2006! ( LIKE DUH!) hahaha. i wud say 06 is the year of the many many changes and many things hapend in dat year. hahaha.. bcoz ah, in 06 alone eh, i've gone thru abt 3 or more phases of life.. haha, sumting like dat ah... lets start from the start. style eh? start from the start.

March 06
- had my last day of school in TP. last day of tertiary education for me.
- graduated from Comfort Driving Centre (in other words, it means i got my driving license)

April 06
- started work in Eagle Services Asia. which i worked for 5 months and earned quite alot which is all gone now coz i spent like 1 idiot who duno how to save $. huahuahua...

June 06
- i officially graduated from my beloved Temasek Polytechnic.
- those World Cup days....

Aug 06
- i sumhow got 'fired' and i became jobles$.

Sept 06
- i got enlisted into NS. in 2 years time all dis will be over.. cmon, 2 yrs is not dat long. haha.

Dec 06
- graduated from Basic Military Training Centre (BMTC).
- posted to SISPEC.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
of coz those arent everything dat hapend, they are those major things that changd my life, hahaha. sumway sumhow la.. and also not forgetting along the way, sum ppl had to go. quite a no. of them..
and... if u notice ah, i graduated 3 times last yr! hahahaha. 3 times beb! 3 times! kau brape kali?? skali je? heh!!! gua 3 kali beb!!! hahaha

if u ask me, do i badly miss 2006.. hmm.. maybe i wud say alot. y? bcoz im doing NS now! haha, of coz i badly want my civilian life back. one thing in ns eh, u'll yearn for ur dat bit of freedom in wad u wana do in every single day of ur life coz once ur in the army, everyting is scheduled for you, wad u do today, tomorrow and the days to come, its all pre determined. huahuhua, sounds so like duno wad eh.. hahaha. but of coz la, only if God permits den u'll be doing wad they want u to do.. dunolah.. i learnd to treasure sum of the simple things in life wic i never treasured so much before. like food, money, my friends and family, time and of coz my treasures. must treasure our treasures ma! hahahaha.. mepek sakkkkkkzzz...

everytime when its time to go back to camp, it gives me dis f***ing feeling ah.. the feeling like u wana cry. mood-less. unmotivated. lazy. black face. and all negative feelings. sum feelings too negative dat u wish u were having chicken pox or wad so can stay at home.. hahaha.. i cant remember the no. of times i tried to tahan my tears from coming out from my beautiful-but-always-red- i-duno-why-and-ppl-always-ask-me-why-and-im-sick-of-it-so-never-ask-me-again eyes.. haha.. i also cant count the no. of times ppl ask me, eh zhof, y ur eyes red ah? OR eh, u got sore eyes ah? OR, asal mate kau merah? OR zhof, kau ade sore eyes eh? eh, eh, EH, GUA BINGIT AH!!!! stop asking me la alamak.. cib....... lagi siket nak maki tu... nasib baik tak maki tau... alamak, eh doktor, asal mater aku slalu merah??!?!

ok ah, nak tido ah.. actuali eh.... i like i duno wad i wan rite now ah..
like maybe im hungry but doesnt mean eating will make me happy.
maybe im thirsty but doesnt mean drinking will make me happy.
maybe im sleepy but doesnt mean sleeping will make me happy.
u get the idea? ok? ok, now make 10 sentences like dat.. write ur name, class and reg no. and pass it to me by tomorow morning k.. haha.. oklah, seriously ah, u get the picture or not? the picture ah... the pic i send u dat time? u got it rite? hahahahaha.. mepek ah dier ni... nolah i mean,. u get wad im trying to say here? dat means eh.. im not happy ah.. im not 100% happy ah, but den, who is.. hahahaha.. so wad eh..

k ah, wana go already.. bye bye pplz..
over and out.

hey you

2006-12-08T01:23:00.000+08:00

dont waste my time
who am i

to you.

im back!

2006-09-24T16:10:00.000+08:00

yo ppl im back and im going back Tekong tonite.. heres a little update ah.. NS has been fun so far, so far so gd la.. i had fun, and the muscles are growing.. the only bad news is i fell sick last Monday, and i still am.. i feel like vomitting every now and den.. and i juz did dis morning.. i feel so weak aaaarrhhhh.... but den, tomorrow training's as usual, i hope i'll get better, i wana recover soon. and fast.. fast as in fast; puase.

alot of ppl said i look thinner now.. but i dun tink so ah.. but i duno ah.. realli meh?? no ah.. i tink its bcoz of my hair ah, it creates the illusion dat im thinner, haha..

we'll talk some other time. see you next weekend insya Allah..

Selamat Ramadhan to all Muslims!!!

my last goodBYE!

2006-09-06T14:26:00.000+08:00

helo, take a very very loooonng last look at my face, coz ur gona miss me soon! hahaha.. im going in tomorrow, yes, tomorrow!!! not next week, not next month, not next year or next century, but tomorrow la dey!!! hahahaha..

life is gonna change soon. i am gonna miss alot, ALOT of tings.. im gonna miss alot of people! alah, but then, its only 2 weeks jer.. tak lame sgt, 2 weeks je, bkn nyer 2 bulan ke 2 tahun kan..

i reali hope i get into a good company wif gd platoons and very gd bunkmates.. the people ard me are very2 important, my platoon mates and also not forgetting, i hope i'l be under a very gd seargent. someone hu dont reali torture ppl dat much, haha.. these ppl create the environment u noe, they determine whether ur bmt life will be fun or a ride in hell! haha.. i hope to enjoy it, coz they say, bmt is the best and most memorable moment of ns life. i hope so, i hope so. plz pray for me..

pray dat i'll always be in good health. pray dat i cum back in one piece! haha.. i hope so, i hope so.. im excited and nervous abt tomorrow.. im curious how will it all be like.. im curious how I myself am going to cope with all that, the physical training, my free times, and getting f**kd by seargents or officers or huever la. i hope i can! i can do dis!

im abit worried coz my legs are aching actuali, i hope i can take it ah! I HOPE LAH!!!

SO, ppl, if u miss me or wad, hahahaha, u can juz sms me man! i bring hp man! u sms i can reply back man! i can call u also man!!! hahahaha.. dun forget me my frenz! coz i wun forget u! hahaha.. haizzz, ns, ns....

wishing myself the very best of luck for my NS! ceh, aku da nak masok NS siol!! NS tau!! haha, dis is for real man! REAL!!! mcm tk percaye gitu, finally, aku masok NS, NATIONAL SERVICE.. hahaha, da besar eh aku eh..

eh korg2, tanak wish aku gdbye ke gd luck ke? hahaha..

dis year maybe i wun get to laksanakan ibadah puasa, and dats kinda sad and wasted. puasa is the one time of the year i always look forward to, coz dat is the time they say u get to noe urself better and hopefully u change for the better too. but den, i guess, even if i dun get to puase rite, its all in the heart and mind! yeah... but den, no puases, no terawihs, no qiyams, no jalanrayes, kalau road tu ade ah. ha ha..

ok ah. nak kena report for duty ah! hahaha..

recruit zhofry reporting for duty, SIR!!!

eh wait, by bye people, take GOOD care of urselves! gona miss blogging and chatting and talking to you ppl!! see ya soon! byee... :'(
mIs$ eUuZz, mUuAcKkZxX~! hUgGz~* kIsS3sZX^*^
wInNxX~^ fRi3NdZz fOr3vErXx~~*^^ bBubbByE3eZzX`*
sMmILleEzZx^-^ sObBbxZz~` fLyInG kIsSxX~~*

hahaha, klah! byyeee...............
TEKONG, HERE I COME!!!

our myspace

2006-09-04T13:54:00.000+08:00

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=66040749

this is nineteen86 @ myspace... i havnt really update dis thing but if ur juz curious of what we sound like den go ah.. if not den dun bother lah! as simple as dat! haha.

bordfioidsiweijhedfhsdo

2006-09-03T16:20:00.002+08:00

hello.. im bored like hell siaaa!!!!!
BORED LA!!!

bingit ah ni mcm, is this how to spend ur last fewdays before going to army? hahaha. alamak... boring gilerrr..

i think im going out alone ah, nak pegi beli sluardalamz! nanti kt camp kalau tk cukop susah nanti.. hahahaha.. k ah bye, nak beli sluardlm ah!!!! hahahahaha...

bye bye fockers!

bordfioidsiweijhedfhsdo

2006-09-03T16:20:00.001+08:00

bordfioidsiweijhedfhsdo

2006-09-03T16:20:00.000+08:00

four more days

2006-09-02T14:18:00.000+08:00

argh. fuck, im going soon....

s T uC k

2006-09-01T01:37:00.000+08:00

yo, wadsup?

ok, im starting to feel the shit again. its kinda stupid to be imagining yourself in a very sorry situation during ur time alone, and ended up actually really feeling it. haha. sometimes people are juz so stupid u noe, haha, oklah maybe not u, sumtimes I can be so stupid. after all, only myself has the strongest effect and influence on how i wana feel. after all, its always urself who cheered urself up whenever you're feeling the shit u noe. yalah, ppl do cheer u up, but then if u think properly eh, haha, tink properly rite, its ur choice. but then, sometimes i think i myself, am sick of doing that, to myself! coz you see, someting is bothering u, but u wana feel ok, so u tell urself to be ok, and u act ok, and den u are ok, but u noe that thing bothering u, is still inside, ready to haunt you juz about anytime, anywhere. the only way to really get the ghosts OUT from ur brain is, to go for an operation, but that wud cost alot! i cant afford dat! huahuahuahuahua!

i feel like like im stuck in the 1st gear, and im dreaming of speeding at 150km/h. or at least, i wana park my car and stop driving, but i juz cant move to neutral gear. and so, im on the road, at only 15km/h, a very jerky ride. not knowing where to go, not knowing if thers anything i can do, and regretting driving the car in the first place. i cant even get myself out, i can, but that would be very risky. and i am not willing to take the risk.

i wasnt really aware of the time of the year we are already in, its already September now. its really funny, i dont really feel nine months of the year 2006. maybe only a prregnant lady wud, coz her baby wud hav been born by now, or maybe soon, or maybe later, but too bad, im not pregnant! hahahaha. im not even a female, i dont have wombs. haha, ok. where am i going.

but the past nine months, they've been good, only if i compare them against first nine months of 2005. i can say there are major differences; in myself and in things around me. also my friends and maybe my families too. alhamdulillah.
sometimes i can say, this is not the worst, and sometimes, i say good doesnt mean it really satisfy me. the 'good' being used here is only to the extent of better than the past.

ok, now i dont know what to say. the more i say it, the more it makes me feel like im in desperate need of sympathy and attention, and the more guilty i feel bcoz of my own reflection of a life that's been given to me. noting is ever perfect, not even our own lives, we may never be satisfied with the life we are living, but at least, be grateful for being given the chance to dwell in this only temporary creation of God.

sometimes, ther ARE times i feel like crying, i really do but what the hell, i told myself, im all grown up, men shouldnt cry, stop being the very emotional person i was coz i really do hate him. we DO feel better after the wet face but then i guess at the same time it weakens you, or maybe juz myself, so im juz doing whatever i feel is good for me. i havnt cry for a long time, haha! not reali, if crying watching really sad stuffs on tv, ok that maybe quite sum time ago, maybe quite recent or not so recent, but IF ur talking abt crying bcoz of whatever thats been happening to myself, hahaha, maybe its been a year. or so....

have you ever tried sooo hard to change, that you end up not knowing what kind of person u are now? maybe i dont know, maybe i know, but i duno if i know or not, hahaha. ok, i can still talk crap even when im feeling like this. maybe its bcoz i ate too much crabs during my younger days. hahaha.. dhouiwhf28034vnj34pj

maybe dont bother trying to find out whats really going on inside me, maybe i dun really wana tell anyone. maybe i mite juz feel better after writting this, my blog is one good listener, it only listens but never gave advice.. maybe, maybe not.

this is why i WANT to be outside and be home only in the wee hours, where i wud juz need to lie down on my bed and soon i'll doze off. there wun be time for any stupid unhealthy thinkings. sometimes the time wif urself mite be crucial, but at the same time it literally kills u.

i am in for one kind of sort of big test come next thursday. yeah, i'll be in Tekong doing my NS of course, and that is when some people become who they were, who they weren't, who they are, and i think thers also a chance of people seeing themselves in a way they never see themselves before. im juz scared i'll "die" during the next 2 yrs. be it either physically or mentally. NS is more than just national service! get that? its more than juz doing pushups, more than juz marching, more than juz being a 'dog', more than juz wearing the No. 4 uniform, more than juz anyting that u or me or anyone think NS is, i dont even know what it really is. thers no need and necessity in being scared of it. im not scared lah. i am excited + curious + nervous+ cant wait for it to be over, all at the same time..

im really really hungry and thers no food at home. thats sad ok!

to tell you the truth, im disapointed with myself, im breathing in ashes of my own.

bloodybladder

2006-08-30T16:05:00.000+08:00

haha, something must be wrong with my bladder today.. i visited the toilet like 10 times or more already.. aiyoh.. hahaha..

broken chicken

2006-08-28T21:18:00.000+08:00

haha, its supossed to be broken kitchen.. ha ha.. ok.. currently i hav the messiest kitchen or maybe the messiest house in spore rite now. hohos.. the fridge + washing machine + microwave + pinggan magkuks are all in our living room, and the kitchen, it looks like as if dozens of bombs had been planted all over and exploded.. its filled wif alot of dust and debris, the bits and pieces of the ceramic tiles and the old cabinet.. the kitchen walls are tile-less.. haha, but then of coz la, they are renovating it wad. and gues hu suffers bcoz of all diz? me! yeah..

from today till i finally go for my NS (boohoo), i hav to be at home weekdays 9 - 5.. isnt ddat cool? hahaha.. cool SHIT! i hav to stay home alll the time until they go home.. i had to get my food before they come or else i wud be starving like a hungry pig.. i have to wake up early, i can only go out after 5, its very VERY NOISY!!! and DUSTY!!! wad a way to spend my last few days!!! hahahaha, now everyone laugh at me!!! wad a nice way. nice!

but on the other side, i cant wait to see when its all over, and that is only after i book out for the first time from camp.. wic is 2 weeks after i go.. maybe ah.. i'll be going home to a quite new home, i hope so. and i cant wait.. i was told its gonna be yellowish green or sumting like dat... haha, why not green and black and brown? camou ah!!! huahuahuahuaa... den i can camouflage at home also.. haa.. not funi eh...

can i like change sex wif my sister or wad? bcum a gerl for sum time, so i dun hav to stay at home, den she will do all the staying at home for me.. hahahahahahahaha!!!

i pluged in my PS2 to the tv in the living room.. i sat on the very dusty floor and i get myself lost in the world of music, i hear then loud through the earfones, that's how u block the noise... its like being in a war scene.. haha, war... army, war, NS, its all making sense now..

i want eunice olsen.

saturdays....

2006-08-26T18:29:00.000+08:00

helo..
saturdays are becoming more and more ridiculous the more i planned to enjoy it fullestestly! what's ridiculous is that ridiculously all your frenz are busy wif their own plans and you keep getting those like, im going out wif my fren ah, sori ah.. sorrys here and there, its reali ok, just that i think's its juz ridiculous, on my part.. of course i dont blame my friends, i mean what for! who they wana go out with that is entirely their freedom of choice.. its been almost two weeks now that i'm like 90% at home.. aiyoo.. it just kills sometimes.. yeah, i hav PS2, i hav a guitar, i can MSN, or blog, but then, like you know, sometimes you juz wana go outside and watch the outside world. haha.. nolah, like somtimes you juz feel like going out, watch a movie or wad, shopping or at least company ur fren to shop, main bowling ke, main pool ke, or anything else la.. and when during that time when you feel like going out, and you juz cant find sum1 to go out wif, and you dun wan to go out alone, ok, that feeling just sucks! haha

i truly understand people's lives.. im an understanding person ah, haha.. and once again, i dun expect anyone's sympathy ah.. mcm pathetic gitu kan rase..dun go out with me juz bcoz u feel sorry for me coz i'm complaining this shit.. hahaha, ishh.. i juz miss those times when all of us are still free to do anything, go anywhere, anytime! those "recently-graduated" days.. i also miss school!!! really! i miss going to school, meeting my frenz, going to classes, studying together and all that.. i miss those times when the 5 of us meet almost everyday after school, sit down at the coffeeshop and talk about almost anything, school, gerlz, bikes, cars, people, animals, trees, flowers, cameras, handphones, computers and etc... now ther's rarely the 5 of us together.. i miss those times when people call me and askd me out, now that rarely happens too.. and im gona miss alot more other tings, when i'll finally be serving the nation.. seems like i cant really enjoy my last few days.. except at home.. shit la, i HAVE to be at home everyday next week.. coz ther'l be some renovation works going on and being the only son here, I have to be at home, yeah, ME, the person who's rarely at home most of the time, and not my very homely sister, bcoz she's a gerl u see.. aiyaah!!

come september 7, i will miss my friends, my PS2, my guitars, blogging, chatting on the MSN and talking crap to people, i will miss staying up late, waking up very late, hanging out, talking to some ppl, and some other stuffs dat i missed out la.. but i wun be mising my hp and my mp3.. coz i get to bring them wif me.. its time to make new frenz, its time to be a real man!!! its time to "die"!!! hahaha, i dun tink i can cope wif the training..
Pulau Tekong, here i come!!!

oh yeah, im gona miss watching spore idol too.. and speaking of dat, i really thing that singapore shud reali REALI vote wisely, vote for someone who can sing, someone who can SING!! this is a singing competition, plz! why vote for someone juz bcoz he's gd looking, dats juz so stupid.. you can do dat in manhunt or wadeva hunt.. but not in spore idol.. he's gona represent singapore u noe.. so please ah.. dun vote for him anymore.. do they even look like spore's top 5 singers? hahaha, no.. i can only see two.. yeah dats it.. but den, who reali cares abt this.. hahahaha..

boring week

2006-08-20T18:38:00.000+08:00

today is sunday and what a boring week it has been.

Monday - went to return the car we rented. then went to CS to eat, and i bought a new jeans.. finaly i hav a Levis jeans, muahahaha! and i bought whitening lotion coz i was black.. ha! after dat i went home and sleep coz i wanted to sleep ah!

Tuesday - i went out alone to exchange sum PS2 games which cant play, went to Bedok and Tampines Central there. the auntie at tampines shop said i canot exchange coz its been too long, aiya, stupid shit la.. after dat i went home wif a black face. haha..

Wednesday - didnt go out in the morning or afternoon or evening, but played soccer at night.. dats wen i got the blisters man.. it was very very painful then, but now its nothing! lerr, takde pape je.. haha

Thursday - stayed at home the whole day! i played Winning Eleven 10, and edited a player. i edited C.Ronaldo from Man Utd to Zhoff A.! haha, i hav short hair like now, and i hav a blue goatee!!! muahahaha... blue goatee, style kan.. i wear gloves, a choker, and my body bole tahan beb! kekeke.. im also wearing the blue Adidas Predator, mcm betol jer.. in real life mane mampu beli tu sume kan.. and im very very skillful ok! skill giler!!! in my 1st match, i scored the ONLY 6 goals in the match.. wow rite.. i was man-of-the-match of coz, i got a rating of 10.0.. and i got a yellowcard.. i say, bravo Zhoff!!! hahaha..

Friday - ok, this was the only day i went out as in went out ah.. went for Friday prayers den had lunch at TP's Breadboard.. i was having blisters on my rite foot, so i wasnt walking so normal la, my another fren, fell from his bike and got alot of bruises and cuts on his left foot and limped very2 badly.. so we were like two idiots when walking together.. hahaha.. after dat i met Amy, ceh Amy seh!! hahaha. went to Bishan for no particular motives.. after dat, we went home..

Saturday - i woke up wondering what the hell to do today.. i msgd a few ppl and they were all bz.. i wanted to go out so badly, i nearly went out alone to get new shoes but for sum reasons i juz stayed home the whole day. later dat nite tot of meeting up wif sum of my frenz but den i cancelled it coz i was engrossed in editing this new blogskin and i was tired and i juz sudenli feel like not going out..

Sunday - this is today. haha.. i woke up and had my shower and den played Winning Eleven again.. i, as in Zhoff inside the game, scored 2 goals, man of the match again.. alamak, im jz too gd to be true.. hahaha.. after dat i watchd SCTV awards on SCTV of coz.. there were performances by Radja, Peterpan, Rossa, and sum ppl i duno.. after dat i had sumting to eat, den i was hungry still so i cook instant noodles but didnt eat them rite away.. i ate them abt 1hr later, it didnt look gd already, coz its been left for too long.. and den rite, here i am.. i wana go out siaaaaakkkz!!! hahahahaha...

plz ah, dun feel sorry for me or pity me or wad, i dun wan ur sympathy, i dun wan any1's sympathy, dats not wad im looking for.. im looking for love.. hahaha, nolah.. im juz complaining for fun coz its not normal for me to hav such a week like dis.. and im so not used to it..

sumtimes u feel so bored like u wana jump down! hahahahahahaha.. macam jer...

into the green

2006-08-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

this new blogskin is dedicated to my upcoming enlistment into the army!!!! hahaha.. yeah, counting the days man... wad do u tink of dis skin? izit tooo green? green is healthy u noe, gd for the eyes.. hahaha.. do giv ur comments, i wud reali apreciate dat.. ok, permission to publish post sir!!!

hard.brake

2006-08-19T00:42:00.000+08:00

hi, nak tgk video? nak tgk, tgk ah!!!! giler per, nak tgk video pon nak blg org.. hahaha..
my first youtube videos..
i dun wana tell you all wad videos they are, leave it a mystery.. muahahaha... but dun worry ah, its not porno or wad la.. aiyo.. decent videos.. maybe ah decent.. maybe not so decent, but definitely not porn ah plzz... nak tgk, tgk, tanak tgk, tak pakse pon.. ur loss, not mine, or my mum's, or my dad's or my sisters', or anyone dat i care for, except dat if ur my fren dat i care for la, but den rite, even if u are my fren dat i care for lah kan, i dun lose aniting wad.. so, i dun reali care ah if u watch or not.. totally up to u to decide but remember, make the RIGHT choice..

talking abt choices, haha, yesterday my heart almost broke into pieces.. i first heard it on the radio, den i checkd on the internet to find out if its true.. i heard on the radio, "beckham was dropped from the new Steve McClaren England squad".. i was abit shockd of coz, being an England + Beckham fan (even though i AM him).. but den i tot i heard wrongly or maybe it was juz rumours, so yesterday i went to check it out.. i went to theFA.com and yeaaahh.. i heard right.. becks wasnt chosen in the new squad.. wad siaa, juz bcoz he resigned as captain, and the new manager takes ovver, den u drop him ah?? ahh??? aiyo.. i was heartbroken ah of coz, i feel for him.. ceh! hahaha.. sedih ah, i mean, how can u do dis to me?? haha, how can u do dis to him?? he was captain for the past 6 yrs and he's done a gd job, he led the team to 2 world cups, although they wernt successful enuf, but then.. hey, is dat how u pay him back?!?!! IS DAT HOW??!! TELL ME!?!? alamak.... but then, sum sources said dat, the door is always open for him.. i HOPE SO!!

ok, if u look at e bright side, ok now he's dropped from the squad and he still wana play for England, soooo, maybe he will try his very best to fight back for his place and in doing dat, he will be a reali reali gooooooodd player and at e same time improve his skills and miraculously get back to his best form ever!!! and ppl will be amazed and stunned and they hav noting else to say except, 'beckham is the best player in the world!'.. hahahaha.. hmmm, reverse psychology maybe.. juz trying to be optimistic here.. coz im reali not ok wif him dropped from the squad.. and mayb also, he mite not be in real madrid's first 11.. haiizzz.. all the best!!! aiya, watching england play wun be as interesting anymore.. but den, its good to see them winning their first match under the new manager... good la.. hope john terry will do a very gd gd job.. jangan buat job yg lain pulak! hahahahaha...
without beckham, ther are still sum of the players i like in the team, like steven gerrard, frank lampard, joe cole, wayne rooney, rio ferdinand, michael owen?.... if these players are dropped also eh, i wun support england animore ah! hahaha, but of coz i dun tink dat wud happen..

k ah, dats all.. enjoy the videos if ur watching them..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOiYkvMaAO0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_hCqpkQzuE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K30mhf1arg4

merepek kan?? tu ah, sape suroh tgk?? hahaha

seven.fold

2006-08-17T03:02:00.000+08:00

ok, what do you do when you canot sleep and you duno wad to do? do this la.. haha
nobody tagged me or whatever or whatever or whatever or whatever me but i juz feel like doing it so its my problem ah!!! anyway, WHO CARES WHAT I WANA DO??!! its my life sey... haha..

7 random facts about me
1. im a guy
2. i like gerlz, haha!
3. i have two hands juz like most ppl, Alhamdulillah
4. i hav two eyes juz like most ppl, Alhamdulillah
5. i hav two ears juz like most ppl, Alhamdulillah
6. i hav ten fingers juz like most ppl, Alhamdulillah
7. i hav two legs juz like most ppl, Alhamdulillah

7 things that scare me
1. the 1st ting dat im scared of
2. the 2nd ting dat im scared of
3. the 3rd ting dat im scared of
4. the 4th ting dat im scared of
5. the 5th ting dat im scared of
6. the 6th ting dat im scared of
7. the 7th ting dat im scared of

7 favourite music at the moment
1. twinkle twinkle little star
2. how i wonder what you are
3. up above the sky so high
4. like a diamond in the sky (mcm betol je!)
5. twinkle twinkle little star
6. how i wonder what you are
7. the song has onli 6 lines?!!!

7 things I like the most
1. my most favourite ting
2. my 2nd favourite
3.my 3rd favourite
4.my 4th favourite
5.my 5th favourite
6.my 6th favourite
7.my 7th favourite

7 people to do this crap
1. seven
2. people
3. to
4. do
5. this
6. crap
7. eh, short of one more person!!!

hahahahaha... tak serious la.. main2 je, dis is the real thing..

7 random facts about me
1. lazy
2. shy
3. crazy
4. i love nonsense
5. im going NS next month!
6. i tink im starting to write crap again
7. n i tink i juz did!!!

7 things that scare me
1. Allah SWT
2. Death
3. Losing ppl dat i love!
4. Thunder and Lightning!!! makes me feel very not safe even when im at home! always hav dis stupid tot that lightning mite strike inside my house! hahahaha, its stupid but its scary!!!
5. Big doggies?
6. Cats? hahaha
7. Scary stuffs??

7 favourite music at the moment
1. The Veronicas - Forever
2. Blue October - Hate Me
3. Breaking Benjamin - The Diary Of Jane
4. Pussycat Dolls - Buttons
5. nineteen86 - Ashes Of Our Own (shiok sendiri ah!)
6. nineteen86 - Chemistry X (shiok sendiri lagi ahhhh!!!!)
7. nineteen86 - My Last Goodbye
8. nineteen86 - Dissolution
9. nineteen86 - Ninth of June
10. nineteen86 - You're So Reason For Suicide
11. nineteen86 - Wasted
12. nineteen86 - Please Go Away
13. nineteen86 - Hoping Soon
14. nineteen86 - The Sixth Song
15. nineteen86 - The Birthday Song
hahahahahahahahahahahahahha, banyak eh lagu2 nineteen86?!! hahahahahahohohohohohoh!!!!!!!!
main2 jerrrrr... saje2 je nak tarok all the songs ther pasal mcm style gitukan tgk.. kan kan kan???!

7 things I like the most
1. nineteen86?!! hahahahaha
2. nineteen87? hahaha... ok man... buat balek..

7 things I like the most (if its referring to 'things' lah kan...)
1. my MP3
2. my MP4, hoho ther i go again!! i cant resist playing ard wif the qns man!! hahaha..
2. my new bag, not dat new la, ard 1month old...
3. my ZOOM
4. my electric guitar
5. my PS2
6. the PS2 controller! hahahhahaa, ok!!! cukop lah tu... sudah tu sudah.. buat lagi, cmon.. hahaha
6 lagi. cigarettes??
7. my handphone i guess...

7 people to do this crap
1. zhoff (alamak! kena buat lagi ah!!)
2. zhofry (lerrr, buat lagi per??!!)
3. zhof (eh giler per, aku da kena buat 3 kali siolzzx!)
4. noor zhofry ( mak kauuuu, tanak la, brape kali seh nak buat??!?!)
5. zhofry hamid (EH!!! seriously ahh, takde mase lah, qn kalau lain2 takper, carik org lain ah!!)
6. zhofry giler nak mampos kau giler per AHH??? GILER PER MAT??!?!!!

giler ah ni.. hahaha, i tink dis is one of the crappiest entry everxxx~! haha.. guess wad...
guess wadm its gonna be me! haha, ok, went to play soccer jz now... suddenly my kasot ade mulot!!! in other words it means that kasot da terbukak into pieces ah.. so i had to play bare footed.. n den...... i got blisters!!! one blister the size of a 50cent coin, and ....... i duno how to explain ah actuali.. but i hav 2 blisters, and after dat i canot walk coz its painful to walk.. luckily my fren gave me a lift on his bike..

ok, aku da nak kena tido!!! --- try to say dat in a very step-cute tone.. and den let me SLAP UR FACE!!! hahahaha...

sentosa pigs

2006-08-16T14:43:00.000+08:00

here are sum of the pigs taken on the Sentosa day.. its not all of them la, like onli 15% like dat coz im juz tooo lazy to upload all and let u ppl c.. let u see for wad?!?! haha, the size of the pics all soo big like wad, each pic ard 2mb like dat, siao ah, dats y im lazy to upload, need to compress everything first den upload, malas ah!!! if anyone willing to do dat for me den go ahead! hohoho...
ther are videos too but i havnt upload, the videos also very2 big like elephants, hahaha..
check out my new hair if u havnt seen it!

that's all folks!
being buried was one of the best experience in my life, seriously.. it gives u alot of feelings! hahaha.. as well as sum cuts and bruises here and there.. its realli hard to breathe wif all the sand pressing on ur whole body, and sumhow paralysing ur every limb.. i felt like i was bedridden, lying on the bed helplessly and my frenz ard me, being my hands and feet.. u get to noe wad it feels like being paralysed.. haha.. at one point it was really scary, coz i cant feel my toes, i panicked for a while, but after sum time i cud finally feel it again.. i tot i'd lost my feet man!

and it was really uncomfortable under there, so as soon as we were done wif the pics, i rose from the dead! haha, i dug and shoved the sand away and was partially buried already, and den i was busted.. i was almost there, i cud see my knees again, den my 3 lovely frenz covered up the hole and i was back to square one.. it was quite frustrating actually coz i really wanted to free myself, i was worried also ah.. like hu noes i might get paralysed or wad, or maybe bcum impotent!! hu noes?!?!!! hahahahaha.. then the left me all alone wif cigarettes, lighter and a bottle of coke.. i dug myself out of the grave like one stupid idiot dengan semangat yg kental!!! mcm david blaine siol!!! hahahaha...

as soon as i got out i went straight to the water coz it was realy2 uncomfortable wif sand all over ur body.. and den i got black!!! we saw alot of hot chix and i miss them, hahahaha...

im very hungry rite now so dats all for today.. bye bye..

i've been tagged! aarrrgghhh!!!

2006-08-13T18:06:00.000+08:00

yooo!!! ok, im doing diz bcoz im bored and i dun wana disappoint people, chey!!!

10 Favorites
Favorite Colors: blue! black, red and white (singapore flag!!!)
Favorite Food: Burger King, cheese fries, kway teow goreng tanak sayur! hahaha
Favorite Song: currently eh? rite now im strangely in love wif "the veronicas - forever" hhehehe
Favorite Movie: dis one is hard.. alot of good ones.. duno lah..
Favorite Sport: Soccer!
Favorite Season: s'pore mane ade seosons, now waiting for the new seasons of the English and Spanish Premier League! haha
Favourite Day Of the Week: Friday!! coz on dat day, for sure i get to meet my frenz.. and the weekend is herre!!!
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: Chocolate forever and ever xx~!

9 Current
Current Mood: tired like hell siaaa!!! hahaha, all dat swimming and no sleep yesterday at Sentosa..
Current Taste: wad u mean current taste? taste in my tongue eh? den its sweet ah, hahaha.. sembarang la eh..
Current Craved Clothes: noting specific dat i crave for, but i NEED and want a new pair of jeans!!!
Current Desktop: ape siak current desktop?! hahahaha....
Current Toenail Color: white la dey!
Current Time: 6:24pm
Current Surroundings: Noisy (parents karaoke-ing!)
Current Annoyance(s): my parents karaoke-ing!!! hahahaha, and my bloody messy room, coz of the new wardrobe..
Current Thought: tinking of where and what to eat as soon as i finish dis, very hungry!! haha

Firsts
First Best Friend: got to be my primary school best fren, Saleh, we were best frenz from pri 1 to pri 6!! every year in the same class, and we even became neighbours since pri 4, he still lives behind my block.. but we lost contact since sec school days.. hmmmmm...
First Performance: let me see eh... maybe in pri 3 or pri 4, i was in the school's lousy brass band! hahaha.. and also the speech and drama, i appeared on stage alot of times in my pri shool days.. i was hot ah!! hahahaha..
First Movie: hmmmm, ninja turtles when i was very2 small back in the Bedok days and when you sit on plastic chairs and the cinemas hav no air cons, sooo hot dat u cried soo loud and ur dad had to take you out for fresh cool air!!! hahaha, dats wad i did!!!
First Piercing: hehehehehehe, 4yrs ago!! sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh...
First Lie: who the hell can remember!!!??! hahaha
First Music: haha, nursery rhymes ah!!!
First Car: never even bought one! if first car i drove, hav to be the driving school's Toyota Soluna..

7 Lasts
Last Drink: Pineapple juice.. actually its not a juice ah, its syrup + water + ice..
Last Car Ride: this morning when lukman sent me home after i sent him the car.. haha, style eh..
Last Embarassing moment: ok, yesterday afternoon at Palawan Beach when my 3 good friends buried me very very deep in the sand and left me all alone! :(
Last Movie Seen: Click. ok, check this out!! 1st time i watched the same movie for the 2nd time. the 3rd movie i watched wif amalina, the 4th one i watched dis year, and the 5th time i watched a movie ever since i was single.. hahaha, how cool is dat!!!
Last Phone Call: azhari, asking for his slippers..
Last CD Played: the CD i burned on Friday before going to sentosa, listend to dat in the car..

6 Have You Evers
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: my best frens are all male!! but then..... yes! hahahaha.. im straight ok!!
Have You Ever Broken the Law: duh!! hoho, underage smoking, illegal driving and riding and etc..
Have You Ever Been Arrested: luckily no and never..
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: hahaha! plz.. never done it before, not interested.. but on 2nd tot.... hmmmmm..
Have You Ever Been on TV: oh yeah, during S League highlights in 1999, i watched all Tampines Rovers' games, sometimes i appear on live matches on tv, and sometimes i sibok-siboked get behind the players hu got interviewed!
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: alot of times!!! hahahaha.. nolah..

5 things you're wearing
1. blue adidas t-shirt.
2. my dunman sec P.E shorts! ahaha, its sexy! sooo short siaa!! hahaha
3. underwear of coz..
4. 2 rings on my right ring finger..
5. dis black i dont know what you call it on my left wrist..

4 things you've done today
1. bathe..
2. drove to East Coast Park alone..
3. helped my dad shift furnitures..
4. slept for hours after dat!

3 things you can hear right now
1. my dad singing! haha
2. my sister talking with her mouth full..
3. myself typing!! hahahahoho..

2 things you can't live without
1. ummm... lets not be particular about anything first.. ok, music and.....
2. my lovely FRIENDS!!! awwwww....!

1 thing you do when you're bored.
1. listen to very loud music and sing like the whole world is yours and no one can hear you!

And for the 5 people-
never mind ah, dun tink anyone i know wanna do dis.. if there is, then go and do lah!!! who's stopping you?!?! hahaha...

we went to Sentosa friday nite and came back last nite and now im still reali2 tired!!! alot of hot chix!! wooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahhahhaehehehoahoahoehaioefekfgwhw4t4t...... pictures will be up ssoon, pics of me getting buried alive!!! and i made my escape, mcm david blaine siolzzz! hahaha, k ah, till den, take care!

im black! and i hav little hair! ppl wun recognize me animore!! hahaha..

hello new home

2006-08-09T01:19:00.000+08:00

yo wadsup niggas and non-niggas, bitches and non-bitches.. hahahahaha.. yeah, soon im gonna say hello to my new home! ooooooooohh.. we'll be leaving dis place soon and moving to a new house at Woodlands.. bye bye people of the east..!!!

hahaha, abeh percaye per? giler per nak pindah woodlands? mite as well tinggal kat johor kan.. lagi murahzzzzz... kekeke.. alrite, actualli the ting is, still, im gonna hav a sort of a new house before i go for my NS, insya Allah.. a few weeks ago, my mum told me she wana hav the toilets and kitchen renovated.. hmm, i tot it was cool coz i loooooonng for a new jamban!! hahahahahaha... ok.. but i never reali tot it gona happen soon, but, BUT, last sunday my mum's contractor fren came to take a look.. wow, its actualli gona happen!! hahahahoohowhohaoshfikgr..... actuali not yet, but insya Allah.. dats the keyword here. hopefully, b4 i go NS i'll get to see a new kitchen, new toilets and abit of a change in the living room. insya Allah, amin.. ;)

later dat sunday nite, more cool tings hapend.. haha.. we went to Courts to look for a new sofa set, and new beds for my sisters coz their bed broke, i duno wad they do ah, bed broke eh.. hahaha.. i tot of giving up my queen size for a sofa bed, but then my sisters wana sleep seperately, they want single beds for themselves so since they dun wan my queen size then its wasted ah if i let it go and buy a new sofa bed instead and it will also be a waste of money i tink and its been onli a year since i use it so i tot never mind ah, but then also rite rite, my bed is so big and its taking half of the space in my room and i tink i wud like to see more space but i duno ah.. hahaha... anyways it costs sum 500 bux and i dun tink its dat worth it for a sofa bed.. mahal siaakkzz!!!

yesterday was also a cool day.. it was a planless monday.. i didnt hav any plans wif my frenz (rhyme eh), so i went out alone.. huahuauha! i went alllllll the stupid way to Queensway.. eh style eh, all the way to queensway.. kakakaka.. ok, i went ther bccoz.... a few weeks ago i fell in love wif dis white adidas watch, but i was bankrupt at dat time, so i tot i'll get it once i got my pay.. soooo, actuali last friday i went ther too, my fren drove me there and guess wad, the shop was closed! hahaha.. woooooo!!!!! "closed on fridays".. too bad.. so yesterday i went there alone all ready to call her mine, haha, but rite....... hehehehahahoahhfjowekwef.. ok dis time the shop is open, but, no stock!!! hahahahahahahahahahahaha, plz laugh at me!!!!!! kesian nyer aku, tak dpt beli!!! takpe ah, maybe takde jodoh!!! haizz... ok.. so dat was cool.. its not like i went to tampines mall or eastpoint or wad, ni queensway beb!!! kat west! from the east to the west, buang mase je!!! ketawekanlah aku!!!!

so i gave up on the watch ah, takde jodoh kan, ape leh buat.. so i tot, alah wad the heck, lets buy a PS2!!!! yay!!!!!!
i was too lazy to take the bus + mrt to bugis so i juz took a cab and headed to sim lim square.. haha, i tot alot of shops selling ps2 there, but rite....... i onli saw one! so i juz bought one ther la.. i tot of taking a cab back to tampines again but i duno why i walked to the mrt station.. hahaha, ceh, sedap per naik cab!!!! byk per duit kau??!? giler per?!! haha.. it felt abit weird and uncomfortable caryying one big plastic bag wif a new PS2 inside, everyone was looking at it.. tgk2 bole dapat per?!! haha...

i went to mac and got takeaways and went home.. it was 7pm and i havnt eaten anyting at all.. baik puase seh, haha.. ard 9.30 like dat my fren kold ajak turon, so i went to meet them ah.. haha, i told them wad i juz bought and we all went back to my house and played like 3 stupid idiots.. i onli sat ther for like 20mins.. haha!
they blah-ed at 12++ and after dat i did sumting dat i havnt been doing for a long long time!!! i played Winning Eleven 10 and World Cup 2006 like ssomeone who never played games before in his entire life, i wasnt even aware of the time!! at one point i tot it was like 2 or 3am, but then i tot i heard the sbs buses, eh wad time sia, i checked the time, 6.30 la dey!!!!!!!! WOW!!!! time flies wen u r playing games.. hahahaha.. i was abit sleepy ah but reali dun wana stop, played a few more and i finally surrendered myself. 8.30am..

8 hours nonstop, nak mampos per... and den i was sleeping and i had alot of missed calls.. i heard my phone ring but i was tooo sleepy to pick it up, it was already 1pm but i was still sleeping like a pig.. den my sister knockd on my door, i knew why, it must be my fren calling my house phone.. and i was rite.. they wana cum over and play.. haha.. i took my shower and a few minits aftr dat they arrived.. i havnt even put on a shirt!!! haha..
they left at 5 coz they wana go sumwer and actuali askd me if i wana tag along but i duno ah, i fell asleep after dat anywayzzzz... hahahhaa... i woke up and realized its national day!!! hahahaha, happy birthday singapore, like as if i care! hahahahahahahahah.........

i duno wads wrong wif me but.... i duno! i tink dis is the craziest ting ever ah... hahaha, i wun tell anyone coz its juz soo not rite... but sumting is wrong wif me, damn sure abt dat.. hoho.. giler ah.. i need help.....

ok ah, i wana go off and do other stuffs yg mendatangkan faedah.. slamat malam... see you around the world.. take care and dun forget to watch the fireworks...hahaha, BYE!!!

tak tau ah

2006-08-03T17:42:00.000+08:00

aahh, tk tau lah.. nak upload ni tak bole, tu tak bole, ni tak bole, tu tak bole, ni tak bole, tu pon tak bole.. tak tau ah.. tak ya dgr lagu la!!! giv up ah, malas ahhhh..!!!

bye bye ESA

2006-08-02T18:46:00.000+08:00

yesterday wasnt a good day for sure. haha.. i came for work as usual, maybe not reali.. i woke up 8.30 and reached there at 9.45 or so.. dats reali late, and one of the supervisors saw me, but he never said aniting, he never reali say anyting at all.. and it wasnt the 1st time he saw me come to work so late.. so it was juz like any other day, not for long..

at around 3pm, we were cleaning the stupid rusty fixture, we were cleaning and talking away and i was expecting sum reply from my smses den i received a call from a no. dat wasnt inside my phonebook.. i answered it, it was from the Human Resource (HR) dept.. she askd me if i was working or not.. den she askd me if i had already told my supers dat i can only work till the 28th.. huh? 28?? since wen did i say im working till the 28... i told her dat i told my super dat im working till the 6th dis month, but tinking of extending to 13... den she told, nvm u juz go and tell him now.. ok lah, i went to his office, he wasnt there.. so i carried on wif my work..

the HR called again, i was about to hear the greatest news of all time..
"ok, i juz spoke to Mr Toh. he told me that the project is over, and they don't need you anymore. so ur last day will be today.. and bla bla bla shitfuckstupidcrappppppppzxfjcdfwehfe4wh....."
i was abit shocked ah.. shocked + sad + pissed off + wadeva... but i juz went wif the flow.. the fucking flow... eh cmonlah, wad stupid project are u talking abt?? wad u mean u dun need me anymore? den wad am i doing rite? am i not working? u tink wad, for the past few weeks i came to work to sing and dance izit? if u dun need me anymore, den why are u still hiring ppl here and there.. u didnt even ask me if i wana extend.. ok ah, so i figured it all out.. they INDIRECTLY WANTED ME OUT!!! OK AH, so dis is how u wana play, ok ah, i'll go!!! mcm gini eh korg.. takper... at least can tell me in advance wad!!!! at least giv me until end of this week or wad.. its juz A MATTER OF DAYS!!! NOT EVEN ONE DAMN WEEK!!!! ok ah, wadeva ah!!!!!!

i wasnt reali this pissd off when iwas told abt my lst day, in fact i cud still joke ard wif my fren. i pretended to cry, i sat down wif my arms over my face and made stupid crying sounds till i wasnt aware that ppl were actuali passing by.. i looked up and dis 1 guy was looking at me and laughing away.. ok, that was the last embarassing thing dat happend to me... haha.. but seriously, i was feeling kinda neutral.. at 5 i got changed and went to the HR to get my timesheet signed and return my safety goggles... stupid shit, i dun need to sign anyting after returning the goggles, if i knew i wudnt hav returnd it.. can keep it as souvenir..

1st Aug, 17.30pm, i clocked out for the last time from Eagle Services Asia... it was abit sad, im gonna miss the place, the ppl there, the toilets, and the not nice at all canteen food.. after 4 months, i am jobless again.. some time after leaving the ESA building, i began to feel the bingitness of it.. like shit la, i failed to reach my target again and sum hopes and dreams are shattered now.. hahahaha.. yesterday being my last also meant goodbye to sum 800 bux i cud earn in this 2 weeks.. i tot for the first time my bank accnt wud reach the 2000 mark.. haha, TAK DAPAT AAH!!!

im missing everyting rite now.. yesterday i was already so stress tinking wad the hell i shud be doing today.. today was planless so i juz tot i juz sit at home and be a gd lazy boy.. haha, went back at ard 5am dis morning, and i slept like a pig.. wen i woke up it was 3pm!! abit shockd ah.. i watchd sum tv, took my shower, den i went out and spent sum 25bux on food.. since im not working anymore, i wana eat and eat and eat and drink lots of milk and healthy products to keep the body fit and hopefully fatter! hahaha..

my laptop is giving me a heartache again.. siket2 rosak, siket2 rosak, bingit saaakkk!!! hahaha.. not in the mood to record new songs man... see how la...

i tot of going jogging today but i still havnt recover from this stitch.. i got it wen playing street soccer last friday nite.. after 4 days its not gone yet! i hope i recover soon so i can resume wif my healthy activities.. i wana lead a healthier lifestyle.. hhaha! its cool to be healthy..

i am reali free now. ask me out plz.. haha.

something

2006-07-26T19:01:00.000+08:00

once again, i forgot what i wanted to write about.. nvm, its ok... i didnt go to work today.. reason is coz im juz plain lazy! haha.. yesterday my hands got itchy enough to go and sms n call my friends to meet up and 'chill'.. some of them finished work at 10, so i tot it was ok ah.. but by 10, my eyes didnt really wana open, but i tahan like shit ahh.. met them at ard 10++... already feeling sleepy.. there were 4 of us.. n then abt 30mins later they wana go home.. wad the hell rite, waste my time ahh.. penat2 aku tahan ngantok abeh dudok stenga jam teros nak balek ke perrr?!?! i feel like going home n sleep too but at the same time i felt it was such a waste of time and energy!!! haha.. is didnt wana go home too, so we went to play pool.. it was ard 12mn.. and i got home ard 3.. i woke up in the morning feeling sooo tired and i had a bad headache.. dun feel like going to work, so i went back to sleep.. i woke up again at 11, tot of asking sum ppl out but no one's available, so i went back to sleep.. woke up again at 2++ and went back to sleep.. woke up for the last time at 5.. haha, wad a lazy day.. today is wasted too.. some 50bucks gone juz like dat.. if i worked today n last sunday, i can expect a 4digit pay starting wif the no. 2!!!! hohohohoho!!!!!!!!! tapi tak dapat aaaahh!!!!! wasted!!

i duno wad it is ah.. but recently rite.... mcm ade sumting gitu ah!! hahahaha... i miss those times when u call abt 5 ppl n at least 2 of them can make it.. but now, i cant even call 5 ppl, some are in NS, and the rest are working when im not, and when im working, they are free.. woohooo...! shitness siaxxzxx!! i have abt 12 more days to my last day of work.. 6 Aug will be my last.. i dun feel like working anymore.. i need to concentrate on getting myself physically ready for NS.. i cant even jog for 1km.. its been a long long time since i ran or jog or wadeva dats faster den walking..
and i wana really enjoy the last moments i have before i become a real man. haha..

i cant wait to get my pay coz ther's juz alot of tings i wana buy... im on the process of becoming temporarily bankrupt.. food+transport+stupidcigarettes = some $500 or more... im actually quite proud of myself coz for the last 2months i didnt ask my dad for $$$... dat means im independant ah!! ceh!!! hahaha, independant konon.. memang ah aku tak minta duit dari bapak aku tapi kalau minta duit dari mak, tu ade la sey!!!! isshh, buat malu jerr...

one last song before i go.... doesnt seem like it..

take care ppl.. and one last ting, why do we keep hearing abt ppl dying lately? like it wun stop..

am i alone?

2006-07-21T22:34:00.000+08:00

i feel lonely ah.
hahahahaha!!!

baybeats 06

2006-07-17T19:11:00.000+08:00

i woke up and went back to sleep for several times, and at one point i finally gave up sleeping coz the same dream wif the same ppl kept playing and replaying inside me, and the heat from the sunlight was juz too "nice" for a good sleeping environment.. its a saturday and saturday is baybeats day!!! woohoo... but guess wad, its only freaking 10am!!! nak tgk baybeats ape sak kol 10 pagi?!?!!

i took my shower and had someting to eat.. i didnt eat alot coz it was oily and i dun like oily food.. haha.. its unhealthy u noe.. after dat i duno wad to do but den i noe wad to do after sum tinking. hahahaha... i plugged in my guitar and made some noise in my room, preview beb, preview!!! and den i got bored enuf, i duno wad song to play, its been so long since i was zhoff-nineteen86 hu rocks, coz i've been beckie since world cup.. haha, and im sick of playing the same shit again... its been a long looooonng time i get myself into the music.. yeah, plus my busy schedule, where got time ma!?!?!

and so i msg a few ppl, eh kau ade plan? eh kau takde plan eh? kau tk kluar? bla bla blussssshjfwejfwed,lfdl...
after sum smsings, its 2pm under my block, my fren will pick me up, we'r heading to town for shopping.. its not me hu's going shopping, no money la siollzz... maybe next month insya Allah! by 1.30 i got myself ready and den i waited.. oklah, confirm lambat nye ah dier ni... 2.30, masih senyap jer!!! kol pon tak angkatzz... borring u noe... i reali dun like it when im all ready and den rite, rite, sum ppl delay2.. kauuu, tak suke seh aku!!! tak suke!!!! haha...
and finally at 3, wic was 1hr later, he finally kold me and told me to get ready coz he's going out now.. yo, aku da lame siapzzzzz!!! peace!

we met another 2ppl and we headed to queensway shopping centre.. 2ppl per, haha.. me n my fren were wearing slippers and shorts, the other 2 were wearing shoes and long pants.. STYLE KAN?!?!!! we window-shopped but not reali at the window ah, sometimes we go inside the shops coz the shop no window!!! haa haa haa!!!! we could onli admire them, the tings they sell and of coz the chix wif mum and dad and sister and brother... hahahaha... i fell in love wif an adidas watch.. its white in color and it will go well wif my earfones coz its white too, haha!!! next month u'll see it on my wrist, insya Allah...

asal aku crite panjang sakzzzz/???

we reached the esplanade theatres by the bay at ard 7+++... we joined the crowd watching the band performing at the big stage, i duno who they are... haha.. there was alot of ppl, of coz rite.. and the ppl were all sweaty and very2 close and some ppl stinkssssssssss.......!! hahahahahahahahhaa.... the 3 of us jumped and screamd and danced till we looked like we juz had our shower... it was reali reali reali reali hot inside ther man... u hav to stand on ur toes and face the sky for fresh air... i jumped and stepd on ppl's foot and sum stepd on mine, and i shud hav worn shoes instead.. those cute little stones on the ground, doesnt go wif the slippers... but hu cares man, we were ther to hav fun and we did... i enjoyd it very much, baybeats 06 rocks!!! the crowd were great, except for those who disgraced themselves by being so duno wad and initiated the f****-chants... it was a disgrace!!! a real disgrace, but u noe wad, i joined in the fun too!! hahaha, bcoz i tink the security SUCKS!!! and it tipd me off coz we cant get inside and join the happening crowd when plain sunset performed... the people outside were juz so boring....... lame!!! it was good to see our local band getting the support.. how much i wishit was MY band!!! wow, imagine nineteen86 performing at baybeats wif the thousands of ppl watching!!! WOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!! dat wud be a dream cum true!!! wowweeeeee.....!!!

after plain sunset, we were all plain tired and hungry!!! we havnt had anything to eat since afternoon and all that vigorous activities, i almost passd out while moshing i guess.. we sat down for a while and went to Lau Pa Sat for foooooood... we ate pigs and ate like pigs... hahahahahaha... my frenz ate alot till damn full, not me, something was wrong wif my stomache i duno y.. i ate quite alot ah, but not dat alot..

after dat we went back to esplanade. it was ard 1 i tink... we sat there and talkd till the sun went up... it was already Sunday morning and im working at 8.30.. my frenz tried to 'goda' me to not come for work but i was too strong to fall into dat.. we ate breakfast at bedok south and den we did the coolest ting ever in our lives...
kiter org gi pasar!!! yeah!!! gi pasar la sey!!! hahahaha... coz my fren'z mum askd him to buy sum stuffs.. COOL GILER SEY!!! 3 hensem guys wif helmets went to the wet market on a sunday morning.. susah dapat beb!!! pernah nampak tak? tak kan!!! hahahaha

ok, after dat i went home for a while to get changd and they sent me to work... den baljkdfehfoew fiwejfiohwepf ijwf.
it was 5.30 and i;'ve gone 32 hours without sleep... my mum msgd me, "p, bangun, mandi, solat pastu siap.. nak kluar gi mkn.." HUH??!! yo yo yo, im working rite now, ape yg bangun mandi?? aper?? bangun per? aku kat rumah per skrngzzzzz?? hahaha...
ok, my mum tot i was at home, tanx to the salah info by my sister.. my mum kold me and told me my dad will pick me up, ok dats cool.. but im going straight home.. i need sleep.. reached home at 5.45pm.. and i guess by 6 i was already dead... n i cant believe that i woke up at 7.20 the next morning... i slept for 13 hours nonstop!!! nonstop hits!!! cant believe it man, its not dat unusual sleeping for 13 hours, but usualy i wud wake up sumtime in the middle of it and get back to sleep.. but not last nite.. i must hav been realli tired... of coz..

i woke up dis morning deciding whether to go work or not.. i took almost an hour to decide.. haha... i reached my workplace = 9.30am... one hour late! wooohoo!!!

the past few days thers been news of ppl passing away.. mcm sumting gitu kan.. i noe ah, everyday ppl die... but these are ppl we know... its a different ting stupid... this is also dat time of the yr last yr when someone i knew left us for good.. this is also the time of the yr last yr, when we had friendship issues...
like i said, its that time of the year again.. lets hope history doesnt repeat itself!!!

take care dudess.... peace!!!

lame kan tak update, kan kan??

2006-07-12T22:37:00.001+08:00

ok, due to the overwhelming demand for an update, here it is.. yeah, overwhelming i say.. thers juz a lot of ppl who askd me to update, so far ther's already 1! hahaha huhuhuhu hhohohoho...!!! 1 is alot ok..

alrite man, wana hear another cat-story?
two days ago i went home from work.. i walkd towards the lift and guess wad i saw.. yeah, 2 cats sedang bersantai di depan pintu lif!!! baik ah korg...!!! tanak kasi aku balek per??! its ard 10pm so ther wasnt reali much ppl ard, so its not dat embarassing ah.. i tried to scare them away, i stampd my feet a few times but huahuahuahudfdf398rfdjsfajkdfwe, dorg rilek je la siolll!!! ape lagi kan, being the scaredycat me, i took the lift in the middle, wic means i had to go to the 11th floor, den walk along the corridor and climb 1 staircase up... dats wad i did!
im still the same old me! :( haha.

ok ah, actuali i hav alot more to say but i wana sleep..... sorry ppl if ur expecting more, ceh!!! ceh aku!!! mane nyer bagos jer!??! its been quite a bz week, now dat im not single anymore, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha!!!!!

STILL SEDIH!!!

2006-07-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

ISH, I CANT SEEM TO GET OVER THE ENGLAND LOSS SIAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM STILL VERY HEARTBROKEN +++++ THIS IS WORST THAN A BREAK-UP! HAHAHA...

HAIYAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!! GERAMZZZ AARRHHH....!!!

wads past is past, but this is the World Cup, its once every 4 years!!!!! 4 years is VERY LOOOOOOONNNNGG!!!!

BAD DAY

2006-07-02T20:28:00.001+08:00

the top three people the public might blame for the England's exit from this year's World Cup wud be Ronaldo, Rooney and the Referee.. because of these three, England are now going home.. things started out really well for England during the match, Portugal suffering the loss of its 2 key players, Deco and Costinha, and Ronaldo might be alittle bit off-form, due to his recent injury in the previous match.

It seemed as if everything was on the English side, they had more possesion, more chances, the defence did really great in preventing the Portugese from finding the net. One might have already confidently conclude, England will be in the semis, after watching their performance in the first half.

But who would have thought, England had everyting at its advantage. But there was this crucial something that they juz didnt have, luck. for sure, luck wasnt on the English side when the second half kicked off. england's most important player, the most inspiring, the one who had led them to where they were, their ever-reliable captain David Beckham had to be substituted due to a calf injury.. i was watching the first half at a coffeeshop at Marine Parade, and during half time we took a cab to Tampines where there's this very BIG screening of the match with ALOT of people.. we didnt get to see the second half kick-off, when we arrived, from inside the cab, i saw Beckham on the bench, in tears.. like what the hell!!!!!!!!!!!! i rushed out of the cab, leaving my fren still inside, finding his money to pay the fare, alah, who cares, im not paying, so why shud i stay inside? hahaha.. ok shit, now England are less dangerous on set-pieces and deadballs.. never mind, they were still looking dangerous. i still had my hopes on them. juz please, put the ball in the net.

and then, things got worse for MY England. our main man cum bad boy Rooney was sent off, and we were down to 10 men. i almost cried, yes, i really felt like crying, now ther's no advantage to England at all.. however, they stil played well with one man down and Peter Crouch is one funny guy. hahaha.. like in the previous matches, England were struggling to score!!! arrrgghhh... thats juz something abt them, they juz cant score the goalssss...!!

then extra time, and then... jeng jeng jeng.. penalty shootout, u know how much we hate penalty shootouts.. boring ah!!! it was a really nervous experience watching the shootout. that was advantageous to Portugal of coz, coz they had a good goalkeeper, and its been a looong looooooooonng time since England won at penalties. i admit, they are really bad at it.

and den, England lost! :'(

ceh, mcm newpaper nyer article eh?!!!! hahahahahaha...

it was really a bad day for me, first i broke my slippers, causing me to walk like one limping idiot, then i injured myself while playing soccer after so long not playing, and then, i was all sad, depressed, devastated, angry, heartbroken and everything not nice to feel. like whats World Cup right now? with all my favourites already out of the tournament.. aaarrggghhh!!!! i lost my mood, and so i decided im not coming to work the next day, wic is today, despite the fact that i cud get an extra 100 bucks.. but then so waaaaaadd???!?!!! now, this is what the world cup is doing to people!!!

however, i think it was England's best match in this world cup.. they performed well, and almost everyone wud agree, England DESERVED to win.. they played better, but they juz didnt get lucky this time.. maybe they have to stop depending on luck to win.. anywayz, bravo England!!!

i wud also like to say the "best of luck" to one stupid idiotic maronic christiano ronaldo, cause alot and alot of people will start to HATE YOU!!! esp when you return to Old Trafford, all the best. and that is meant to be sarcastic.. i never liked him. i never liked the way he plays.. i never liked his face.. and last nite he made me hate him alot more by being such a pain in the ass, influencing the another stupid Mr Referee to flash the red for Rooney... that was soooo uncalled for man!!! mind ur own business next time.. Stupid Mr Referee should have awarded England a free kick when the portugese players were all around Rooney, and yet he did nothing., like what the fuck!!! i wana believe that Rooney's deliberate step on the other idiot's groin was not intentional, but a misstep.. but why the red card?!?! fuck the Ref, fuck the Portugal's No. 17, fuck the red card!!! im very very sure that Ronaldo wud be more than happy to see Rooney being sent off, and he got what he wanted. although he claimed, he only complained abt the foul, i say thats CRAP!!! we all very well know ur intentions...

I HOPE PORTUGAL LOSE TO FRANCE, AND LOSE TO WHOEVER THEY FACE IN THE 3RD/4TH PLACING... PLEEEAAASSEEEEEE!!!!!

oh yeah, France knocked the Brazilians out!!! woohooo!!! that was the only good thing for me last nite. ireally wanted to see them out, coz i think they had won tooooo much.. bagi chance lerrr!!! hahaha.. it wud be boring to see, again, a Brazil-Germany final wudnt it?! congrats to France!!!

i was feeling OK when i got home... but when i woke up, i was crying inside... ceh..!!! i still cant get over the loss man!!! i wana cry ah, i need a shoulder!!! can someone give me a big hug and tell me its ok?? im not ok.

now i dunno who to support, i dun like Germany, i hate Portugal of coz, i dun really like the French, so i guess i'll go with Italy.. i used to support them when i was very young.. i used to support them until i became an England fan abt 8 yrs ago.. i want a France - Italy final! GO ITALY!!! DO THE ITALIAN JOB!!!

friends are the best ppl in the world

2006-06-12T19:57:00.000+08:00

for most of my close frenz, we were only 12 or 13 when we first met. we were all young and stupid.. haha.. nolah, we were all young, still under strict control of our parents, at that time, we only went around via public transport.. chey!!! going out and getting back home later than 9 or 10 oclock meant loooonng lectures from our parents, or even at times, i opened the door and got a slap from my mum.. haha, dats for getting home late, some years ago.. we were immature kids who loved playing and fooling around, juz like any other kids do.. played soccer like almost everyday, some of us were lost in the virtual world of those addictive video games, and we dun reali know the importance of education.. the only reason we passed our exams, was because we had to.. we grew older over the years (like duh, hahaha), we grew taller, darker, or skinnier, or handsome-r, or uglier, and we begin growing facial hairs! hahaha.. growing facial hair was like something great ah, when i was 14 i had some strands of hair on my chin, and of coz i didnt shave them coz i was scared it mite not grow again, although it looked kinda messy.. young ppl wana look older, old ppl wana look young.. haha..and of coz, i didnt shave the hairs above my lips for years, i tot it was cool having a moustache..! hahaha!! 7 yrs ago my face was cleeeaann from pimples and hairs.. look at it now, its still not dat bad huh.. still gd rite.. haha..

yeah, all those puberty stuffs.. we turned 15 in 2001, and dats wen we got our ICs.. ceh, aku da ade IC ah!! hu noes.. we tot we were so cool and old enuf dat we have our own ICs.. but its juz an IC.. u see? ha ha... the next milestone was turning 16 of coz, yeah.. being 16 means being legal to sum stuffs, like watching nc16 movies, playing pool, clubbing, and having sex.. hahahahaha... but of coz, i wasnt interested in ALL of that.. being 16 was definitely something to me.. one of the most memorable years in my entire life.. 2002- alot of shit happend... dat was when some of us including me, got into BGR stuffs, aka cinta monyet!! kakakaka... these ya-ya mcm betol kids fell in love and got together and tot they were going to last till the day they die! i mite agree if u say that the love felt was real, it mite be, but still, who are we to even tink abt marriage back then? wad did we hav? not even an o lvl cert, no jobs or any source of hard-earned income, or anyting else.. but we were all juz fooling around and easily gave in to our desires.. i wasnt really a gd boy or wasnt in any way a better man then wad i am rite now, when i was 16... for abt 5/6 of the year 2002, i can consider myself as a remaja hanyut!! hahaha.. there were underage smoking, alcoholism, shoplifting, stealing, illegal business, clubbing, piercings, tattoos, drugs and pre-marital xxx..

ok, dun tell me u believed dat man.. hahahaha... plz ah, dun believe dat.. its not true, i was juz exagerating.. but SOME are true ah.. i admit, i wast a reali good guy, im not a gd guy, who said i am or was?!?!

after some time, we kinda realized our mistakes and stopped doing some of the bad things.. after our O's, some of us for the very first time, started earning our own money and support themselves financially, yeah, THEMselves.. coz i wasnt one of them, i WAS working, but i wasnt supporting myself financially, all, ALL of my salaries go to my shopping.. wooohoooo...!!! haha, i was working but i still depend on my daddy for pocket money.. wow.. can u imagine juz how much i spent per month, usually i made ard $300 when i'm skooling, and during holidays i wud get around $700-800 pay.. now, plus $300 pocket money to that.. i spend like 600 a month during skool siaxxx~!! of coz la, after skool go here go there buy this buy that, of coz ah spend alot kanzz!!! but then, i was young, and it was the first time i'm making money so dats y... who cared about saving up for future use man?!?!

came 2004, it was the year when things changed.. we turnd 18!!! legal 18!! everyone was happy on their bdays.. who wont.. finally we were 18 seh... that was the end of public transport for some of the ppl.. but not me of coz... haha.. i enrolled to driving skool on my bday itself, but when did i pass?? juz 3 months ago!! useless me.. hahahaha...

my friends, one by one, they got their driving license, be it class 2B or 3, we were coming to realize, we are growing up!! da besar eh kiter org!! reali, there were times when i wud say to my fren, or vice versa, eh kiter org da besar eh!! hhaha.. and den we would reminisce on our kental young days.. and also, besides getting the license tro drive, the ppl ard me got into relationships wic until now, are still alive n kicking! haha..

ppl started to hav their own transports and loved ones,no1 knew it cud cause a bit of a shake in our friendship.. yeah man, hu wud hav tot?!?!! even that did cause some personal an non personal issues wif one another.. and in the middle of all that, we realized, we are growing up, and we hav gone thru alot of shits TOGETHER!!! yeah, TOGETHER!!! despite all the issues and tissues, we are still friends.. till now!! awwwwwwwww.....!!!

for the past seven yrs or morre, we hav grown up together, somehow.. we know each other inside out man.. we are like one big family!!! some of us, we are closer to each other than our own family members.. believe dat man.. u noe, as cheesy as it sounds, i cant live without my friends!!! and i love cheese.. hahahaha.. ceh, ceh, CEH!!!

its been a long time since i last spoke or met some people who i always meet.. hahaha.. my best frenz are away for national duty since last 2 weeks.. i miss them man.. hahaha.. but they'll be back this weekend.. i wana see my botak frenz... lets give them some HAIR!!! hahahahaha....

i tink itulah sikit lebih kurang wad i wana talk abt friends and growing up... im sure i missed alot of tings up there... cant reali remember fully wad i wanted to say.. dats it abt dis shit..

i backed out from our BANGKOK JAM... no holidays for me till no1 knows when.. i backed out bcoz of $$$ lah!! i cant afoord to spend my hard earned some $900++ for the trip man.. i can afford that, but i dun tink dats how i wana finish my bucks.. i wana at least hav a few hundreds or mayb a thousand before i go for NS.. why? i duno y! dun ask me ah!!!

hApPiE bIrtHdAeZz~!

2006-06-09T22:39:00.000+08:00

zhoff.blogspot, nineteen86, zhoff, zhof, zhofry, nora, nora j, nora z, jacobs, michael, dj zhoff, joyah, mama, aci and everyone who is me (whom i might miss out) would like to wish a very HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY TO NURUL AMALINA....!!!

belom lagi ah!

2006-06-08T22:35:00.000+08:00

ceh, a few more hours saakkkkkkkzzzz!!! a few more hours to some1's bday saakkkk!!!!!!! hahahaha... alot of tings take place tomorrow... i wana buy 4D - 0906, or 9606.. confirm menang beb!!! hahaha.. alot siaazz.. i never bluff u 1, alot of tings ah.. u see ah..
1. World Cup starts!!!!!! wooooooooooohhooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2.someone i know is going NS
3.somone i know is going to australia
4.someone i know is turning 16

u see that?? alot rite??!! ALOT RIIITEE??????!?!! 4 JER AH!!!!!! 4 STILL ALOT WWAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDD!!!!!!!! alamak, eh plz ah, im sick, so dun argue wif me ah pleease!!!!!!! if i say 4 is alot, dat means its alot ah!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! kan aku DA MARAH SKRNG!!!!! gerams sakkzz... ninabe ah.. hahahahahahahah!! giler pe kau.. giler pe aku? hahaha.. sorry for the not so nice language.. i was juz joking ah!!! joking also canot izit?? ah?? wana argue again ah?? eh PLZ ah, i SICK laa..... haaaaaiizz..

i just bought my ZOOM!!!! duno wads dat?? go and find out urself ah!! takkan sume aku kena bilang kan.. dah tau pon nak kena bilang per?? grow up ah please.... grow up!! especially if ur bday tomorow, u need to grow up!! hahaha... best eh bday besok, aku nyer da lepas sakkzz!! 4 months ago and no1 gave me bday present sey!!! puuuii ah!!! hahahahahahahaha.. lek ah, chill man, im juz joking around..